There’s no denying that L.A. is a strange place–juice bars everywhere, Scientology–but sometimes the strangeness manifests itself in grapes.
This wasn’t something I knew about, but the other day I found myself at Gelson’s (my favorite supermarket here) and a man in the produce department said, “Would you like to try a grape?” Now my mom always warned me not to take candy from strangers, but she never said anything about grapes–even grapes that, according to the man, “taste like Cotton Candy.”
The other day at Gelson’s, I was looking for almond grappa to make Franny’s toasted almond gelato (shockingly, I was unsuccessful) and during my search I spied the bottle you see above. Who drinks this stuff? First of all, I think it’s hilarious that it translates to “The Spirit of Paris” and the flavor is “Red Velvet Cake.” How is red velvet cake even remotely in the spirit of Paris? Second of all, as Regina Schrambling recently Tweeted, “red velvet” is not a flavor. It’s a bunch of red food coloring added to a cocoa cake. So what, exactly, do people think they’re drinking when they drink Red Velvet Cake Sparkling liqueur?
Do you remember that game show where couples would race through a grocery store trying to buy as much as they could in 60 seconds? “Supermarket Sweep”: that’s the name of it! I remember watching that when I’d fake sick and stay home from school to watch “The Price Is Right” (the major perk of being home sick) and then the lesser game shows that came on after (“Press Your Luck,” “The New Hollywood Squares”). Anyway: I spent the weekend setting up our new kitchen and yesterday I was ready to fill it up with stuff. So I gave myself permission to do my very own version of a Supermarket Sweep.