As part of my promise to be an endlessly amusing source of food arcania, here is my pledge to you: each Thursday night I will write, perform and record a song for you about what I ate for dinner.
Tonight’s selection is called “Burrito” and requires two things from you:
1. iTunes. I think you need iTunes to play it because my computer (a beautiful Apple) only records things in m4a format, not mp3.
2. The willingness to download it by following this link:
Believe me, it will be very much worth your while. The Burrito song is an instant classic, inspiring Burrito eaters everywhere to join together in song. Hope you will too.
PS If anyone can tell me how to (a) convert an m4a into an mp3 and (b) how to post the song directly on to this page, I will be eternally grateful.
As many of you may have noticed, that flour-coated god in the upper-right hand corner of your screen is none other than yours truly, The Amateur Gourmet.
And yet, I’m sure many of you are wondering: are there any more pictures like this? Any more variations on the theme of sexy Jewstud coated in King Arthur flour? Shall we be privy to such pictures?
Alas, you shall. Welcome to a behind the scenes look at the making of The Amateur Gourmet. Please welcome our very special guest host, Tony Danza.
Hi: I’m Tony Danza. You may remember me from such popular sitcoms as “Who’s The Boss?” and “Taxi.”
The photograph you are enjoying in the upper right hand corner of your screen was constructed on the night of January 13th, 2004 by the very drunk, very assertive roommate of The Amateur Gourmet: Lauren S.
“Hair! Let me fix your hair!” she shouted, as The Amateur Gourmet ambled over.
“Is that Tony Danza?” he asked, and I nodded yes.
“Now take this bag of flour,” Lauren instructed The Amateur Gourmet, “and throw some on your face.”
The Amateur Gourmet looked back warily. I snapped a picture.
“Do it!” Lauren yelled, throwing back a shot of Jack Daniels and cracking a whip.
He did and I took another picture:
What followed were some of the most disturbing, emotionally scarring moments of my life. Hell, I once walked in on Mona naked during the “Angela Has An Abortion” episode of “Who’s The Boss?” and even that wasn’t half as scarring as witnessing this travesty of photographic injustice.
The Amateur Gourmet requests that you post comments addressing whether he should leave his “god-like” (in the non-Danza sense) picture in the upper right corner, or replace it with one of these sorry specimens. Either way, this is Tony Danzy saying: “Yo Angela!”
And now for the pictures:
Picture One: “Detatchable Jaw”
Picture Two: “This Tastes Icky”
Picture Three: “Ooops”
Picture Four: “Lauren Shares Her Jack Daniels”
Which is your favorite? Vote now!
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