This is a lame return, I must admit. It’s one of my favorite songs. But two factors fail us:(1) I use the verb “try” which is weak when compared to the original “fall.” “Try” isn’t really active. I should’ve “tried” something better.(2) The recording skips in important places. I will paste the lyrics in the comments so you can know what it is that I am singing.And with that lovely introduction, here it is: “I’ll Never Try To Cook Again.”
Writing about food since 2004.
The Return of the Thursday Night Dinner Song: “I’ll Never Try To Cook Again”
The Amateur Gourmet
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What do you get when you try to cookA sink full of dishes that will last through winterCutting boards of wood will crack and splinterI’ll—I’ll never try to cook again.No oh I’ll never try to cook again.What do you get when you try to bakeAn oven full of dust and an electric mixerBatter in your hair makes a strange elixerI’ll—I’ll never try to bake againNo oh I’ll never try to bake again.Don’t ask me if I’ll braise your troutCause I’ve done that and it gave me goutOut of those pans those pans I fry inCame the food that caused so much dying.What do you get when you try to cookYou only get flies and smells and sorrowSo for it at least until tomorrowI’llNever try to cook againI’ll never try to cook again.
Speaking of which, why isn’t there a line to the turkey sandwich song from a while back?
Genius. That’s all I have to say.
You mean the pulled pork sandwich one? Ya, that got deleted somehow. Here’s the link:http://www.amateurgourmet.com/the_amateur_gourmet/files/a_pulled_pork_sandwich.mp3And I’ll put it back on the list too. Thanks!
Ooh, new song. Thanks! I was thinking of one back when you were talking about your favorite turkey sandwiches in history. Am I thinking of something else?
I just listened to the Monkee Meat- Eater medley. I’m sure even Davy Jones would have laughed his ass off at “this one’s a bleeder, get a straw”. Mike Nesmith and I take our hats off to you AG.