For years, I’ve been wanting to try the delicacy known as Kopi Luwak–or Civet Coffee–which comes from the islands of Sumatra, Java, and Bali. The coffee is made by feeding beans to wild civets and then, after digestion, collecting the beans (along with the feces) which take on wonderful flavors because of fermentation in the digestive tract. Sadly, tracking down civet coffee in Los Angeles is highly difficult; and wild civets are hard to come by. Which is why I had the bright idea of feeding coffee beans to my cat, Lolita Roberts-Johnson, to see if I could make Kopi Luwak here at home.
The first step was definitely the hardest: getting Lolita to eat the coffee beans. I tried packing them in tuna, in sardines, and smoked trout, but ultimately she went for them when I coated them in catnip.
Step 2: defecation. You can lead a cat to the litter box, but you can’t make her poop. After handing her a few magazines (old issues of “Cat Fancy”) she finally did her business.
Look how richly I was rewarded!
Those coffee beans, now defecated, were more precious than white truffles from Alba. All I had to do was scoop them up:
Don’t worry about the other stuff that you might collect with the coffee beans: that only adds flavor.
Into the coffee grinder it all went (please don’t tell Craig):
Then into our coffee maker. Moments later, I was pouring myself a cup of homemade civet coffee.
So, did it live up to the hype? Yes and then some!
Refreshing, effervescent, reminiscent of Arm & Hammer kitty litter with hints of feces and urine, it’s the coffee of any coffee lover’s dreams.
So the next time you’re craving civet coffee, don’t break the bank. Just coax your kitty into playing a bathroom barista and your coffee dreams will come true. I’m never drinking normal coffee again.