We all eat at different speeds. Me? I wolf down my food a lot like my dad does, though I try to slow myself down. When my friend Diana eats dessert, she savors each bite like one of those people on chewing diets who count their chews 25 times before they can swallow. Craig, generally speaking, eats at a normal speed, unless he’s talking in which case his food might sit there in front of him getting colder and colder as he enthuses about the trailer for the new Alfonso Cuaron movie or the injustice of getting older. When this happens, I make sculptures with pieces of straw paper and balance chopsticks on little plastic containers.
Is it rude to make the slower eater feel like a slow eater by rolling your eyes and taking pictures for a Comic Book post on your blog? Or is it rude for a slow eater to eat slowly when he knows you finished your food 15 minutes ago and you’re anxious to get home to watch Project Runway?
Most of the time, this isn’t a problem. I think when people eat together they tend to match each other’s pace, whether consciously or unconsciously. If I’m tearing into my meatloaf and I see my dinner date is gingerly eating their salad, I’ll take a pause so we can recalibrate. It’s only when things go really off–like in the scene above–that the pace issue becomes noticeable.
How fast do you eat? How fast does your partner eat? Is it a problem? I’ll be sure to read your comments the next time I’m hovering at dinner, waiting for a certain someone to finish up.
My husband and I have the same issue. My BFF and I also have the same issue. I’m a slow eater. My lunch can still be heating up in the microwave and my BFF just wolfed hers down. My husband eats fast too that he excuses himself from the table and I’m left all alone. And then I had a baby and I learned to eat fast. That baby is not a toddler and I now have to share my meal no matter if he just ate his or not. He’s a slow eater as well, like I once was.
But, I do try to notice the speed of others and pick it up but sometimes they’re too fast for me. Am I chewing too slowly? I don’t want to wear my food either.
Problems, I got ’em.
Slow eaters are SO SLOW!! ugh
LOL! This is a hysterical post because my mother and I had just been talking about this recently. She eats at a normal pace while I eat like I’m in a contest. I have no idea why I eat so fast, but I often find myself with a lot of time on my hands while I wait for her to finish her meal. When I eat with my friend, it’s much worse. He has Crohn’s Disease and has trained himself to eat slowly. Very. Slowly. So slowly that I almost think he’s doing it on purpose just to prove that I’m a pig and he’s some snobby sophisticate who chews his food 32 times before swallowing. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Just give me a fork, put me in front of a bowl of food and let me shovel it in.
funny!
If the food is good, I tend to eat fast. At least to the point where I can’t hold anymore comfortably. If not, I eat slow – maybe so I don’t feel obliged to continue eating it after everyone else is done.
lol! I have a distinct memory of one of by best friends taking over an hour to eat a veggie Fajita Wrap at Taco Bell when we were teenagers. We are still friends. I wish Taco Bell still had Fajitas.
Chris eats much slower than I do. I’m like you … I wolf my food down, which I hear is bad for digestion. This also causes me to finish my food much sooner than the hubs. So, I try to put my fork down from time to time and take a nice, slow sip of water/wine/etc. to pace myself. That way we can sort of finish around the same time.
Chris eats much slower than I do. I’m like you … I wolf my food down, which I hear is bad for digestion. This also causes me to finish my food much sooner than the hubs. So, I try to put my fork down from time to time and take a nice, slow sip of water/wine/etc. to pace myself. That way we can sort of finish around the same time.
I’m a recovering former middle school/high school teacher. Lunch shifts were about 20 minutes (so the kids didn’t have enough time to get into trouble), so I learned to eat fast. My husband eats at a snail’s pace, which drives me insane, since I’m also super sensitive to eating noises, which I notice more when I’m not eating myself. Solution, he eats in front of the TV or with a book, and I eat in front of my laptop in the kitchen with some sort of music or other noise, and everyone’s happy. (We do talk, but not while we’re eating.)
I’m a recovering former middle school/high school teacher. Lunch shifts were about 20 minutes (so the kids didn’t have enough time to get into trouble), so I learned to eat fast. My husband eats at a snail’s pace, which drives me insane, since I’m also super sensitive to eating noises, which I notice more when I’m not eating myself. Solution, he eats in front of the TV or with a book, and I eat in front of my laptop in the kitchen with some sort of music or other noise, and everyone’s happy. (We do talk, but not while we’re eating.)
Uggh! I used to be a slow eater and then I got a job as a waitress in college and it changed my eating habits forever. Now, I can eat a full meal – like last nights steak, asparagus, with roasted potatoes & carrots – in maybe 10 minutes flat. And yes, I do chew my food thoroughly. That said, since I have children, my mealtime is much longer now as my bites are delayed to make sure or help the kiddos eat. It used to be that my husband and I would finish at the same time but now he – since he doesn’t reall help with the actual fork-to-mouth feeding of the children – is done way sooner. He’ll get up from the table or otherwise disengage (iPad, how i detest thee at the table!). It annoys me TO NO END! Much eye rolling and annoyed noises follow…Still trying to navigate that one.
Uggh! I used to be a slow eater and then I got a job as a waitress in college and it changed my eating habits forever. Now, I can eat a full meal – like last nights steak, asparagus, with roasted potatoes & carrots – in maybe 10 minutes flat. And yes, I do chew my food thoroughly. That said, since I have children, my mealtime is much longer now as my bites are delayed to make sure or help the kiddos eat. It used to be that my husband and I would finish at the same time but now he – since he doesn’t reall help with the actual fork-to-mouth feeding of the children – is done way sooner. He’ll get up from the table or otherwise disengage (iPad, how i detest thee at the table!). It annoys me TO NO END! Much eye rolling and annoyed noises follow…Still trying to navigate that one.
It’s rude/wrong to make a slow eater feel bad –yes, I’m one, it doesn’t help! It’s better to eat slower for many reasons, savoring the taste, eating less, make it last longer, but for me it’s mainly digestion. If I eat too fast I get a stomach ache so I go at my own pace and when my bf is done before me he just waits. I’m just lucky he’s patient!
At home I like to eat with a large spoon so as to get larger quantities in with a single bite. Yes, I usually finish first, but I sit and have conversation with my wife until she is also finished. I do not do that in public. I eat more slowly and use a fork. ( Or fingers)
Haha, this post reminds me so much of my house. My husband is SO SLOW!!! He has a problem with his esophagus, so he is really careful about chewing and swallowing. I am finished eating a good 15 minutes before him, usually.If we are eating informally, just the two of us on a weeknight, I usually leave him by himself to finish. That might sound cold, but that way I don’t get antsy, and he doesn’t have to eat with me just staring at him, waiting.
I used to be a fast eater, but I forced myself to slow down and savor the flavors more, so now I’d say I’m at a normal pace.
My family and I all have the issue with my mom, who is a really slow eater. My dad and her have come up with a secret phrase that he can say to her when they’re out with friends, so she knows when it’s time to speed it up.
A secret phrase! I love it. That’s genius. I think I eat at a normal pace, but my husband wolfs his food down. Maybe I can come up with a secret phrase to tell him to slow down!
I’m a fast eater, but slow eaters usually don’t bother me unless I’ve got somewhere to be. In which case, I would let them know beforehand; of course, it’s much easier to rush your friends than your SO. In formal settings, part of the etiquette is to modulate your eating so everyone finishes each course at about the same time, which is (hopefully!) a compromise between fast and slow eaters.
If I’m enjoying the company, or eating by myself I eat slower than when I’m not comfortable or anxious. I’m crazy weird about eating sounds, and often I just have to leave the table so I can finish w/out the smacks, loud chewers, etc. Plus, I really do like to savor it. Usually, I’ve spent a considerable amount of time making it, let me enjoy it! I think fast eaters (those that just “wolf it down”) aren’t very considerate of the cooks time, creation, effort etc.
But whatever, to each his own ;-).
I am the slower eater in my relationship, and I usually end up sharing whatever I have left on my plate with my boyfriend. It works out in that both of us are still eating together, and I end up eating a little less, which is never a bad thing!
My fiance wolfs down his food and I’ve learned to catch up with him through the years. However, we just moved to China a month ago to teach English and we were surprised at how much slower we eat now that we always use chopsticks. Not only do we feel better after eating more slowly, I think we’re actually losing weight because we just don’t eat as much.
I’m the slow eater (though, technically I think I’m the normal eater) and my husband is the fast eater. This results in two issues: 1. I HATE to be left alone at the table, so I have trained my husband over the years that it’s not OK to just get up and leave when he’s done – even to clear dishes off the table; 2. my husband thinks food left on my plate THAT I’M STILL EATING is fair game. Not cool.
When I was in third or fourth grade, one of my nasty little “friends” told me that I ate fast “like their maid”. Being taller and heavier than all of the other girls, you can imagine what effect that comment had on my eating speed. I still, years later, eat slowly and feel kind of sick if I eat too (for me) quickly. Fortunately my husband isn’t a fast eater so we do okay together.
My boyfriend is definitely the slow eater. In the beginning of our relationship, I ended up eating more than I normally would just so that we could finish eating at the same time. Now I just talk to him while he finished his meal, but sometimes that lengthens the meal even longer.
I was a super slow eater until I had kids :) Their first months I have to chub down food like a vacuum cleaner if I want to eat anything.
I was a super slow eater until I had kids :) Their first months I have to chub down food like a vacuum cleaner if I want to eat anything.
Adam,
We eat so quickly. My “excuse” is that I like HOT food, and the flavor (and texture) changes as it cools off. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. My 14 year old daughter is just like me. I guess my husband is pretty fast too. I can tell you that we are always a bit embarrassed when we go out to dinner because we eat too fast: we can be in and out in less than an hour, even with 3 courses.
Most of my friends are slow eaters and I honestly can’t understand how they can go to a restaurant, order food that someone takes the time and attention to prepare…. making sure it comes out of the kitchen hot… and then talk and talk and talk while the food gets cold. I will NEVER get it.
I’m always the faster eater anywhere I go; I think I’ve been on one date where the girl could keep up. Definitely not rude to make the slower eater feel slower when they should be eating faster cause people got places to go. Also I hate those annoying comments they always give you like “I like to enjoy my food” or “Can you even taste what you are eating?” the human body sends signals really fast, of course I can taste what I’m eating.
This is hilarious! I used to make fun of my mother mercilessly because she ate so slowly, but now I am the slow one. My husband tears into his meal and devours it before I can even begin. I am always the last one eating at any family gathering on either side too. I like to linger. I blame Europe.