The Black Napkins of Boca Raton

Did you know that in Boca Raton, Florida, where my family lives, you can request a black napkin instead of a white napkin at restaurants?

I can imagine your reaction. “Why would anyone request such a thing?” I had a similar reaction when I found about it too.

But look at this table of white napkins:


You may be thinking to yourself: “What an elegantly appointed table!”

But what you’re clearly not thinking about is the color of your outfit and how those napkins might ruin it. Because in Boca Raton, Florida, many women there wear black 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Black is slimming, you see. And nothing ruins a black outfit worse than a white napkin.

Specifically: the lint from a white napkin flecks off on to your lap and when you stand up, it looks like your dress has dandruff. Which is how some enterprising restauranteur thought up the idea of offering patrons BLACK NAPKINS. Black napkins won’t fleck off on to your outfit and you can leave looking like you wash your clothes in Head & Shoulders. Because it’ll have no dandruff, see.

I’m sure this trend extends beyond Boca Raton. I wouldn’t be surprised if you can find black napkins in Beverly Hills or the Upper East Side. But should you ever visit Boca, and should you be wearing black, do as the Boca Ratonians do: swap your white napkin for a black one.

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