(1) You go to the farmer’s market and bring back a bag of apples.
If you want to eat these apples out of the bag go to (2).
If you decide to make an apple pie go to (3).
(2) Oh no! You’re choking! No one’s there. You’re dead.
(3) You grab your Martha Stewart book and get to work.
Do you want to make Martha’s pate brisee? Go to 5.
Do you want to make Meg’s? Go to 4.
…
– Before this weekend I had no idea who Guy Kawasaki was. Then thousands and thousands of hits starting pouring in from his site. He linked to my truffle post and called it “one of the cleverest blog postings I’ve ever seen.” Ends up he is, according to his Wikipedia entry “one of the original Apple Computer employees responsible for marketing of the Macintosh in 1984” and “a Silicon Valley venture capitalist.” So thanks Guy for the link and the praise—it’s nice to discover who you are.
– Guy’s link, in turn, led to more and more links to the truffle post. Many of them also expressed kind words for the novelty (guess they missed my Blue Hill post) but my favorite were the bloggers who parsed the business/marketing aspects of my post. This blogger showed my post to a client and delivered “an invitation for emulation.” This blogger analyzed whether or not I compromised my integrity by going to the dinner. One commenter perfectly expressed my approach to the situation, “I think what was key in that pseudo-payperpost was the fact that Adam didn’t actually advocate or not advocate going to the restaurant. He merely documented his experiences….” That was the reasoning behind the cartoon format.
– Hey! My favorite performer is going to interview my favorite chef on November 14th. If you haven’t seen the show yet, that’s a great time to go.
– Congrats to Clotilde for her piece in T:Style yesterday. And congrats to me for my drag turn on the cover:
– I may regret this but I know many bloggers have their IM names up on their About pages. I’ve always been hesitant to do this because who knows how many people might IM me if I shared mine? We’re talking MILLIONS. Last year I created an Amateur Gourmet screen name and didn’t post it; but if you’re one of the many people who have e-mailed me with a question only to have me forget about your e-mail, feel free to IM me at amateurgourmet26 (I was 26 when I made the name; now I am 27.) If I don’t respond right away, it probably means I’ve been kidnapped. After all, that picture above makes me very kidnappable.
I humbly accept my defeat at the hands of Meg in our Torchon Tournament. Our judge (and co-author of the book that featured the recipe) Michael Ruhlman says that while I produced “a very nice torchon,” Meg’s “appears to be exquisite.” The only thing that gives me comfort is that we both maintained our dignity throughout this ordeal. Congrats, Meg!
Received an e-mail this morning from someone purporting to be a guest at Meg’s greatly exaggerated foie gras dinner. I think it’s important that I share this e-mail with my reading public because I value truth more than winning torchon tournaments. I wish I could say the same of Meg. Here’s the e-mail:
“I was there at that dinner. She says she only invited two friends, but I was the third friend. Meg does things like that. She forgets that I exist. Oh did I mention that I’m her SISTER?
So to start she made us all sit on the floor. Then she made us each give her $50. We said it wasn’t fair because she received the foie gras lobe for free, but she snapped and said, “Do you want your torchon or not?” She had that Meg look in her eye–the one that means trouble or death.
When she brought out the big tube of foie gras a horrible smell filled the air. Have you ever gone into a bathroom after someone’s used it and lit a match? It smelled like that only ten times worse. And I suppose I could’ve gotten over that if the foie gras tube she was holding wasn’t leaking blood. We asked her why it was bleeding and she said it was none of our business.
Then she sliced it and about 30 or 40 veins popped out. One hit her in the face. We asked her if she was ok and she hissed at us to “butt out.” Then she served a slice of this “foie gras” with Smucker’s strawberry jam which she insisted we pretend was a “sour cherry reduction.” Then she brought in actors and a lighting crew and professional prop people and had them stage the pictures you see on her site. Meanwhile her real guests (did I mention I’m her SISTER?) had to share one slice of festering foie gras. I felt compelled to write because your foie gras looked so wonderful and Meg’s was so awful. I wish I was YOUR sister.
Sincerely, Peg Hourihan.”
THIS MESSAGE WAS APPROVED BY THE AMATEUR GOURMET
So Meg’s foie gras post is up. She says her cuisine reigns supreme: yeah right! Oh so you put a pretty lettuce leaf on your plate and suddenly yours is better? And now she’s bragging that there weren’t any veins, but judging from her reluctance to show her de-veining pictures who knows if we can trust her? And her friend who is a Princeton PhD candidate sounds made up. Does Princeton even have a PhD program? I doubt it. And her sour cherries came from a JAR? A JAR?! My God, woman, have you no shame? She wants the photos to speak for themselves–so fine, look here America. Which would you rather eat, Meg’s:
Or mine??
THIS MESSAGE WAS APPROVED BY THE AMATEUR GOURMET.
Here’s some of the food I cooked from Nigel Slater’s “The Kitchen Diaries.” This food was cooked for research purposes only and was immediately disposed of because I am a professional writer and professional writers don’t mix business and pleasure. For our first slide, you will see the $7 pork loin (why was it so cheap?! Because I bought an unethical pig, I suppose) cooked with grapes, wine and seasoned with salt, pepper and juniper berries:
You deglaze the pan at the end with more wine and it makes a wonderful sauce.
…
