Food Story Game 1: The Muffin Man

And now for an experiment. You ever play that game where someone writes a sentence and someone adds to it and you pass it around until you have a group-written story? That’s what we will attempt here. Except the story will relate to food because this is, after all, a food blog.

So this is how we’ll play. I will write the first sentence and number it (1). Whoever comes along next will write the next sentence and number it (2). If two people respond at the same time and both number their sentence (2) (or 3 or so on) the next person can choose which sentence to take and build off that one. For example:

(1) Mary had a little lamb.

(2) She loved her lamb very much.

(2) The lamb was made of iron.

The next commenter can choose which to build from.

(3) Iron, however, made Mary’s skin itch.

If someone writes something obscene or attempts to derail the story, the next commenter can number their sentence with the same number to offer an alternative. For example:

(1) Mary had a little lamb.

(2) The lamb had a big vagina.

The next commenter, instead of writing (3) can writes (2) and offer an alternative.

The game ends when I, The Amateur Gourmet, write the last sentence and end the story. I do urge all participants to keep it related to food.

And now for the story. This story is called The Muffin Man. Here is the first sentence:

(1) David Daniels ate a muffin every day of his life.

44 comments

  1. (3) These muffins were from the goddess Ina Garten, who lived in a castle in the magical kingdom of Hampton.

  2. (5) Sandra Lee, noticing David’s boredom with Ina, offered her semi-homemade muffins to David.

  3. (4) Being 27, and having started at the age of 3, he had tasted more than 9000 muffins so far.

  4. (5) Morgan Spurlock had once given him a supersized McMuffin. Big Bird donated one with sesame seeds and I said I liked the stud type.

  5. (6) but Dave noticed rigth away that the muffin was not 100% home made, and decided he needed to seacrh more.

  6. (7) David also noticed that eating all those muffins had made him thirsty, so he decided he needed to search for the perfect beverage to complement the perfect muffin. He set off to….

  7. (8) …find that drink by consulting the great chocolatarian David Lebovitz, as he knew nothing would compliment the great chocolate chip muffins more than a chocolate beverage.

  8. (11) correctly translate how much I loathe Sandra Lee, though she does have a great rack.

  9. “Rack” David muttered. “That’s it! I’ve forgotten all other food types like rack of lamb and rack roast…my god,

    where is my protein.” David stumbled off towards…

  10. (13) …a place that provides a happy marriage of protein with breakfast (muffin or otherwise). then he remembers that fellow blogger Ed Levine mentioned tasty breakfast sandwiches a few days ago and so he decides to…

  11. A Recap

    (1) David Daniels ate a muffin every day of his life.

    (2) His goal was to try every type of muffin that has ever been thought of.

    (3) These muffins were from the goddess Ina Garten, who lived in a castle in the magical kingdom of Hampton.

    (4) With time, of course, it became boring to eat a muffin from the same baker everyday, a change had to come along.

    (5) Sandra Lee, noticing David’s boredom with Ina, offered her semi-homemade muffins to David.

    (6) but Dave noticed rigth away that the muffin was not 100% home made, and decided he needed to seacrh more.

    (7) David also noticed that eating all those muffins had made him thirsty, so he decided he needed to search for the perfect beverage to complement the perfect muffin. He set off to….

    (8) …find that drink by consulting the great chocolatarian David Lebovitz, as he knew nothing would compliment the great chocolate chip muffins more than a chocolate beverage.

    (9)The Lebovitz said “I will help you in your quest, but first you must bring me a…”

    (10)..better English-French dictionary to…

    (11) correctly translate how much I loathe Sandra Lee, though she does have a great rack.

    (12) “Rack” David muttered. “That’s it! I’ve forgotten all other food types like rack of lamb and rack roast…my god,

    where is my protein.” David stumbled off towards…

    (13) …a place that provides a happy marriage of protein with breakfast (muffin or otherwise). then he remembers that fellow blogger Ed Levine mentioned tasty breakfast sandwiches a few days ago and so he decides to…

  12. …a mysterious woman living in a Chelsea penthouse whose collection of sterling-silver butchering utensils include…

  13. but not your usual beef tongue found in any Jewish deli, oh no – it was a tongue of extraordinary size, befitting perhaps the wooly mammoth.

  14. 21) “Size does matter” exclaimed David with great gusto, lifting the mammoth muffin to his lips.

  15. 22) David had no sooner swallowed the tongue muffin when a knock at the door revealed a scantily clad Madonna who proclaimed…

  16. 23) “EXQUISITE! A Wooly Mammoth Tongue Muffin! I absolutely demand you give it to me at once; it is the last item I need for my quest!”

  17. (24) Without hesitation, David coughed, regurgitating the muffin which he handed over to Madonna before reaching for another muffin, fresh from the pan.

  18. (25) Madonna thanked and promptly vanished in a puff of smoke. Smoke!, David thought. I’ve never tried to smoke a muffin. He whipped up a new batch of batter and …

  19. (26)…fired up his Weber Grill. But first he had a dilemma – should he use mesquite, hickory, or cedar woodchips to smoke is muffin? David thought long and hard about this.

  20. After thinking for sometime on how to smoke his muffin, David decided to use Cherry wood instead!

  21. (30)Clotted Madagascar vanilla cream. After smoking a batch of cherry muffins, he thought it would be lovely to share them with …

  22. (30)Clotted Madagascar vanilla cream. After smoking a batch of cherry muffins, he thought it would be lovely to share them with …

  23. The Amateur Gourmet! Who devoured the smokey muffins (blogged about them) and asked David for a favor, which was…

  24. But when he saw the muffin statue the Amateur Gourmet shrieked in horror at the sheer gawdiness of the statue…

  25. The statue had been changed to be a “NYC meat muffin” staute where the muffins were filled with Gray’s Papaya hot dogs rather than beef tounge!

  26. And much like the time a woman saw the face of the Madonna on a tortilla, the Adam was sure he could see the face of Sandra Lee in the meat muffin statue.

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