Much hilarity ensued tonight when I tried to explain to Diana how eating eggs is like eating sperm. Think about it: eggs and sperm are the basic components of reproduction. But when we order eggs for breakfast or crack them into a cake we don’t think of them that way. But it’s the female equivalent of sperm: and if somebody ordered scrambled sperm for breakfast, you’d call them crazy.

It’s insight like this that justifies my up-and-coming status in the world of food writing.

14 thoughts on “Eggs”

  1. You are not alone in your thinking Adam. I had a history professor in college who told us that same exact thing! He said he liked to go in diners and order “chicken ovaries and porcine belly” for breakfast just to get a reaction from the waitress.

  2. In Spanish, “huevos”, apart from eggs, are also “balls”, so you´d just confuse people if you tried that line here. Or you could order eggs with eggs, as in bull´s testicles, which some people rather like.

  3. I guess you’ve never talked to one of those extreme vegans that insists on referring to eggs as “chicken menstruation” before!

  4. Megnut beat me to it…

    When I was vegetarian, I used that phrase to explain to non-vegetarians why I “could” eat eggs. They’d always say: but eggs are baby chickens — you’re a hypocrit for eating eggs. And then I’d look them in the eyes, smile, and say: they’re not baby chickens… they chicken mentrations.

    In the same vein, though, as megnut, nothing was ever quite so offputting as my vegan friends calling milk “utter puss”.

    * shudders *

  5. I really feel disgusted now at the thought of eating eggs. I thought the job of an up and coming food writer is to make food enjoyable. Nasty.

  6. Aren’t male gonads eaten in certain cultures? Rocky Mountain Oysters, for example…Since, you know, sperm are pretty small.

    Eggs and testicles are both about the same size, depending on the species.

  7. In Japan, people also love shirako, which according to Wikipedia is “milt or soft roe, which is sperm of the fish (usually anko or fugu).” I find the texture rather mushy and awful, but it’s quite popular in hot pots (nabes).

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