[sung to the tune of that Beatles song]
Now somewhere in the black mountain hills of Hawaii
there’s a company called Dr. Paulo’s
and one day an e-mail came that took guts
it said: “We’re gonna send you some nuts [and coffee]
How’d you like that boy?”
So I said, “Sure send it”
and I waited for the mail
and it arrived real soon.
Now most macaroons
Have coconut blooms
And rarely involve macadamias
But this recipe here
Is truly sincere
When it says you should use macadamias.* [*lazy rhyming alert!]
Macadamias add crunch
and I have a hunch
that they may very well be nutritious.
I opened the bag
and a nut I did snag
and the taste was truly delicious.
But say it ain’t so
They’re salty, no no
and the recipe says use nuts that are salt-less.
So the bag went away
and I started to pray
“Dear God I believe I am faultless.”
Then God just replied:
“Son step aside.”
And I collapsed in the corner.
[Piano solo while God does all the work.]
[God toasts the coconut.]
[God combines condensed milk and vanilla.]
[God whips egg whites.]
[God combines everything.]
[God spoons them out.]
[God places them in the oven, bakes them and removes them.]
Now the cookies are done
And won’t it be fun
to dip each one in some chocolate
We’ll melt down some chips
and dunk til it drips
and people will say, “Mmm, there’s chocolate*.” [*Lazy rhyme #2!]
Now my macaroons
cause orgasmic swoons
just like they did in the Bible.
Plus the nuts are still here
I’ll drink them with beer
The coffee will help with my revival. Yah!
[Piano music, fade out. Cue Ringo.]