Maybe tea bags have low self-esteem. After all, most tea bags–once employed–become soggy and useless and are thrown in the trash without so much as a second thought. One dunk and you’re sunk: that’s what it means to be a tea bag.
Unless, that is, you’re an Adagio tea bag. If you’re an Adagio tea bag, you’re not a tea bag at all: you’re a tea blossom.
Adagio tea blossoms are taught at an early age to love themselves. “There’s a pink flower in each and every one of you,” they’re told.
“But we’re so ugly!” they reply.
“You may be ugly now but one day someone will boil you and a beautiful flower will emerge!”
“You’re a liar.”
“Read the friggin’ packet, Tea Blossom.”
I read the packet myself one night a few days after the box from Adagio arrived. (They sent me a free box to sample.) “Hand-woven tea cluster magically unfolds to reveal a pink flower hidden within…” Before I could ask, “Why?” the packet answered: “…infusing your cup with its delicate scent.” Hmmm…the delicate smell of flower in my tea. Sounds good. Let’s give it a shot!
What follows is a sequence of pictures showing you what happens when you boil your tea blossom. Stand back, it could get flowery.
Beautiful? Horrifying? Personally, I expected Sigourney Weaver to break through my door at any moment spraying machine gun bullets at my cup of tea. As for the taste: it was, indeed, subtly scented with flower. I enjoyed its floral qualities though I did regret not reading more carefully as to whether or not it was caffeinated. This was late at night and I had trouble falling asleep afterwards. Luckily, an alien tea flower broke out of my chest and did a song from “Spaceballs.” It was entertaining.