Cookies for Kerry

Are you a Republican? Do you like cookies? I have a proposition for you.

Sure, sure, this is a big election. Much at stake. Lives on the line. Grand epic consequences.

But think about cookies. Aren’t they delicious? Don’t you like them? Aren’t cookies good?

Let’s make a deal. You vote for Kerry and I’ll send you cookies.

Prove to me that you’re a Republican. Prove to me that you voted for Kerry. I will send you cookies.

Now if I get 800 responses, I can’t send you cookies. I will then enter you into a raffle to win cookies.

Unjust? Maybe. But they say the way to man’s vote is through his stomach. And right now I want to use all the pull I have. Maybe my liberal readers can bake cookies for Kerry too. Whose with me, gang? Whose unafraid to use cheap marketing tricks to get the better man elected?

Cookies for Kerry. Take a bite out of politics.

[THIS MESSAGE WAS NOT APPROVED BY JOHN KERRY. IT WAS, HOWEVER, APPROVED BY THE COOKIE ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA. AND BRISTOL-MEYERS SQUIBB. Just cause that’s fun to type.]

19 comments

  1. I really wish I was a Yank right now. Not only because of your (undoubtedly) fabulous cookies, but also because of the upcoming American election … Kerry rules!

  2. Thanks, but no thanks. I wouldn’t vote for Kerry if you offered yourself up with a plate of cookies.

  3. I did the same with my group of friends to get them to vote. I was inspired by your “I’ll bake you a cake” thing a few months back. I have to bake 12 cakes tomorrow. Thank goodness I didn’t specify size!

  4. I am a registered Republican with absolutely no intention of being a Republican…choose republican on the form because at the time I was young and my whole family is republican. So, I am voting for Kerry. Does this count for the cookies???

  5. Put me down, too. I wanted to volunteer at polls…or go to a phone party…or do bilingual translation to insure voting rights or something, but tomorrow I have to work, and by the time I wait on line and vote after work, I’m pretty sure that most volunteer activities will be over.

    But I’d be happy to bake and send cookies to someone (or some someones) who meet TAG’s criteria…and in addition, I’ll make whatever kinda cookies you want. Kitchen Sink Oatmeal? Orange-Almond Florentines? Espresso Shortbread dipped in Chocolate? Mint Meltaways? Only Kerry voters are entitled to cookies this good…

  6. What kind of cookies are we voting for, Adam? I’m a republican that doesn’t like either candidate, so if the cookies are worth it, I’m up for voting Kerry. Scratch that, I’d vote for anybody if cookies are involved.

  7. Aren’t you a lawyer, Adam?

    In many places, it’s illegal to offer any kind of incentive to vote, much less to vote for a particular candidate. Take, for example, the guy who is facing voting tampering charges for trying to sell his vote on eBay…

    I can’t speak for NYC, since I’m not there, but I know in Texas that could get you in all kinds of trouble.

    But hey, if it checks out okay where you’re at, then I applaud your cleverness. If not, well…

  8. Let me know if you need help baking the cookies. Out of sheer madness, I just bought a 3-kilo bag of chocolates, but now I could put it to some good use.

  9. I don’t think TAG needs to be concerned about being prosecuted for vote bribing. Something tells me the GOP went after Moore & his clean underwear based not on concern about law-breaking, but on a little grudge they have against him.

    So bake away, TAG! Looks like you’ve already got a few takers.

  10. “trying to sell his vote on eBay…”

    It’s kinda sad that this is what our country’s election has come down to, but it’s too funny!! You really can get anything on eBay!!

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