Are you a Republican? Do you like cookies? I have a proposition for you.
Sure, sure, this is a big election. Much at stake. Lives on the line. Grand epic consequences.
But think about cookies. Aren’t they delicious? Don’t you like them? Aren’t cookies good?
Let’s make a deal. You vote for Kerry and I’ll send you cookies.
Prove to me that you’re a Republican. Prove to me that you voted for Kerry. I will send you cookies.
Now if I get 800 responses, I can’t send you cookies. I will then enter you into a raffle to win cookies.
Unjust? Maybe. But they say the way to man’s vote is through his stomach. And right now I want to use all the pull I have. Maybe my liberal readers can bake cookies for Kerry too. Whose with me, gang? Whose unafraid to use cheap marketing tricks to get the better man elected?
Cookies for Kerry. Take a bite out of politics.
[THIS MESSAGE WAS NOT APPROVED BY JOHN KERRY. IT WAS, HOWEVER, APPROVED BY THE COOKIE ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA. AND BRISTOL-MEYERS SQUIBB. Just cause that’s fun to type.]