Food Network Maraton: 2:30-3, 30 Minute Meals

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“Hi there I’m Rachel Ray and I make 30 minute meals.”

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I have this nightmare vision of Rachel Ray like Chucky in “Child’s Play” pacing around my room with her toothy smile and repeating that opening incantation: “I’m Rachel Ray, I make 30 minute meals” over and over again, wielding a chef’s knife.

Rachel Ray has her defenders. I will squeeze out a few compliments from my repertoire of Raytred. Umm, well she’s practical. If you’re a working mother and you come home and you need ideas for a quick dinner, I’m sure a 30 minute meal is very appealing. I won’t argue that her show doesn’t offer anything to viewers who crave this sort of thing; I’ll simply argue that she’s the most irritating woman on TV and that every time I see her or hear her speak I want to vomit.

It’s just that she’s so self-consciously cutesy. She thinks that she’s adorable and rests all her laurels on that notion. She’s like “Whatever Happened to Baby Jane” except she’s still Baby Jane. Someone needs to feed her a dead rat.

Like here I’ll quote her verbatim: “We’re going to take a quick break but come right back because you don’t want to miss a MINUTE of this sandwich, it is SPECIAL.”

I’d imagine that teachers of the mentally challenged address their audience with more dignity. I feel like I should put on Pampers and chew a pacifier. How fitting, she just said: “I love cooking dinner every night because I just LOVE playing with my food. Hahaha.”

That hahaha is there to illustrate Ray’s obnoxious way of making herself laugh. It’s all part of the cutesy-wutesy package. It sounds like the sounding call of the apocalypse.

22 comments

  1. I used to watch 30 Minute Meals. I thought she made some decent stuff. But I got so sick of her “self-consciously cutesy” demeanor (as you so aptly put it) that I had to stop. What bugs me the most are the little catch-phrases she says almost every episode. Why does she insist on saying E.V.O.O.? Does it really take that long to say extra virgin olive oil? Or couldn’t she just say olive oil? And yes, we all get that you wash all of your produce when you get home from the grocery store…because you tell us every single episode! I could go on and on, but then I’d be like Rachael.

  2. THANK YOU! I have finally found someone that shares my deep seated hatred of this woman and all that she stands for!

    Well, maybe not that violent, but she really does annoy the hell out of me.

  3. Nah, I like Rachel. She’s a double hottie with cheese, and that’s enough to keep me watching. I’m a big fan of cheap, quick meals that look and taste great, and she delivers.

    But maybe it’s because I mute her show.

  4. My husband & I were flipping channels and came across her “30 Minute Meals” show this morning. We couldn’t finish it because of her “cutsey” schitck. I guess that was a little too much for us bare, so early in the day.

    A few things I have noticed in a few of her episodes are:

    1) She likes to cook with her long sleeves that can easily dip into the food. (Yuck)

    2) Her hair is sometimes loose and flowing, not tied back. Who want’s hair in their food?

    3) The episode this morning, had her putting red potatoes from the grocery bag straight into her pot! What ever happened to washing potatoes before cooking them? Ewwww….

    She does have some pretty good ideas on her show, but I can’t watch her cooking show religiously. I actually like her “$40 a Day” show a lot better.

  5. Do you get her $40 A Day show, too? The worst is, every time she eats something in any restaurant she visits, the bite is followed by an eye rolling/close and a “this-is-the-single-best-thing-I’ve-EVER-tasted” noise. Faker. Big faker. Way to go, faker.

  6. I like the show. I like that her recipes are not complicated and she actually has information the average person could use. I appreciate that most of her recipes are created fast and with common ingredients.

  7. You guys are just haters. Rachel Ray, while obnoxious and anoying. Is the sexiest woman on the food network. So what she does`nt use a hairnet. I`d gladly eat her hair, drink her bathwater ect. Just mute the t.v and watch her while listening to light jazz or any other music of your choice.

  8. I can’t believe how obnoxious you and many of your posters are…so many of you seem to get really worked up over “hating” people and their tv shows. Simple advice-turn the channel! Better yet, turn of the tv!

  9. I think all you “haters” are just plain jealous ! I’m no “lesbo” but, I do think she’s a good looking woman !

    My husband doesn’t like the ha ha but, he loves her pasta dishes !

    WAY TO GO RACHAEL !

    By the way……

    I loved that quick -n- easy Tequila drink!

  10. Why I hate Rachel Ray by Jessica

    1. Okay I get it. I should wash my vegetables as soon as I get home from the grocery store. Are pre-washed vegetables really a girl’s best friend? Wouldn’t that be diamonds or, ummm, a vibrator.

    2. I understand that your sister is really the baker in the family and you don’t have the patience for it. I understood that the first time you said it, so the 50 times you said it after that was a little redundant.

    3. Giggling is for 13 year olds and Japanese women.

    4. You also don’t need to tell me 50 million times that fresh ground nutmeg will be that thing in the background that will make them go “Hmmmm, what is that?!”

    5. Olive oil, olive oil, olive oil… how hard is it to say that?!!!!

  11. rachael is the bomb! at least she has a personality unlike some chefs…sara moulton.. she has to show off that she’s the executive of gourmet magazine..she doesn’t any personality whatsoever.. she’s also rude

  12. I was so happy to find this thread because I thought I was alone in my hatred of Rachel Ray.

    I hate just about everything about her and wonder why every time I turn on Food TV I have to endure her disgusting diatribe.

    Please tell me you saw her $40 a Day show in Park City Utah!?

    For lunch, all she could afford was onion rings! When she tasted them she said “Oooh these are amazing, there are so many layers represented here.”

    Gimmie a break!!

    Then for dinner she went to a nice Chop House and actually ordered a side of Mac and Cheese for her meal and a water to drink?!?

    It was hilarious!

    Thanks for a great thread!

  13. Well, even given how corn-ball Rachel is, I’ll take her over fake-grin-after-every-sentence Giada anyday! Anyone else notice the Alton digs on the Thanksgiving special?

  14. I despise Rachel Ray – as does everyone I know who has ever watched her show. She has the most annoying and corny personality. EVOO is the friggin’ worst of all her obnoxious repetitions. After her horrible personality, I would say the way she loads up ingredients from her fridge to her conviently stocked “pantry” is the worst. If she took more than one trip to get her supplies, and couldn’t chop her pre-washed veggies under the speed of light, she’d never finish her “insanely delicious” meals in under 30 minutes. Hey Food Network, why don’t you “garbage bowl” Rachel Ray instead of giving her more unwatchable shows.

  15. I agree with you all. I hate/love her for all those reasons. I am strangely attracted to watching all of her horrible/fantastic shows. Why does she have so many? Can’t they find another annoying/incredible host?

  16. Sure that evooooooo has got to go ,but hey get this nobody is perfect and she entertains me,I like her recepies and make no mistake she has a perfect ass.

  17. Personally, I think she is adorible. I don’t watch much T.V. but happened to catch her a few weeks ago. I can’t stop watching her. I love her little laugh, her smile and adorible attitude. You just want to kiss her.

    I really don’t undersatnd why anyone wouldn’t just fall in love with her.

  18. The last episode I saw Rachel in was at a winery…when they we not pouring fast enough while showing the guests the process of wine making during the $10.00 tour, she obnoxiously interrupts the owner and says “oh HELLO, my glass is empty!”

    She rubs me the wrong way too…I can not stand to watch her. I agree with the other posters – fake and full of herself.

    Did you see her with Joe Perry from Aerosmith! I was so embarrassed for her. It was painful to watch her try to be a rock and roll chick.

  19. She makes me want to poke sticks in my ears until they bleed. I caught an episode of “30 minute meals” yesterday. She had her mom as a guest and she called her ‘mommy’. How embarassing!!! I thought I misheard her the first time so I had to keep watching just to make sure I heard her right and she said ‘mommy’ several more times. It was just embarassing to watch.

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