Parenting a cat requires patience and petting and plenty of crunchy cat treats. It also requires honesty; which is why tonight proved so difficult.
Lolita approached me at my desk:
“Dad?” she asked innocently enough.
“What is it son?” I replied.
“I’m a girl,” she hissed.
“Oh, yes,” I said, blowing a bubble. “How can I help you?”
“Where does meat come from?”
Oh boy.
Here she was, my little furry animal, asking the question no parent of a furry animal wants to answer. What made it worse was that earlier tonight I ate another furry animal–well not as furry, but slightly hairy–a pig at Fat Matt’s:
Then it occurred to me that, in many ways, I’m a hairy animal too. I have hair on my head, hair on my chest (ha!) and hair between my toes. Lolita and I are in the same boat.
“Look, Lola,” I explained. “We’re all animals, see. And animals, by nature, eat other animals. Which is why you and I both have canine teeth.”
I pulled up her gums and tapped on her canine. She hissed.
“Look at Andrew for example…”
“…he is an animal eating another animal. Does that make him a bad animal? No. It just makes him an animal.”
Lolita was unimpressed.
“Then look at Trinh…”
“…see what she’s eating? She’s eating Andrew. She ground him up into a sandwich. That’s just the way it works.”
Lola began gnawing at my foot.
“Ow,” I said.
Thank God Mickey Dolenz came in and performed his Monkees Meat-Eater Medley.
Lola loves the Monkees, much like Marsha Brady. She bopped along, tail-wagging. I slipped out quietly. My work here was done.
Hooray!
This kitten encourages more cameos by Lolita!
That Medley was hilarious! Good job, seriously.
Is there anything you can’t do!?! Bravo!
Lolita is the cutest. I love her movie and all of her adorable pictures. What kind of kitty is she, exactly?