To Your Vast Amusement

I have restrained myself thus far from revealing a family secret. But now the time has come, and here it is: my parents are celebrity hounds. Their affinity for a restaurant is based on the likelihood that they will see a celebrity there. Nevermind good food, give them:

Sarah Jessica Parker


Or, Billy Joel (with my brother)


Or, J. Lo and Puff Daddy


and they’ll be satisfied.

How do they do this? Well, it’s a combination of (1) good celebrity restaurant-charting; (2) fearlessness; and (3) opportunity. Thus if you can corner Billy Joel by the bathroom, as my mom did with my brother, that’s a good opportunity. Approaching former James Bond Timothy Dalton at his table is not. He will say: “Madam, that’s incredibly rude.”

Now lest I suggest that I’m not part of this whole family obsession, let me present my most prized possession: a picture with Woody Allen taken after my friend Dana and I were informed by his doorman that Woody returns Monday nights at 10 pm if we’d like a picture. We did just that:


And, if you’re as vastly amused by this as I imagine you might be, you can peruse our family’s celebrity stalking website; though I’m not sure it can take all that traffic. Enjoy!


  1. Oh…My…Gawwwd! You know there is help available. How old is the Sammy Davis Jr. picture? Swanky outfit!!! And really, is Sgt. Slaughter worthy of celeb status? As always thank you for sharing.

  2. I was embarrassed to say it before, but now I have to – you (and your family) are the bomb!

  3. When my wife was in high school, Ben Stein hit on her. She looked older than she was, to be fair, but Ben – come on.

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