A Message from Richard Clark


This is Richard Clark, counter-terrorism czar, and catalyst for what is now a full-blown scandal regarding President Bush, 9/11 and intelligence.

But that is not why I write to you today.

I write to you on a matter much more grave, much more serious. I write to you because you are being deceived, and someone has to do something about it. I write to you because The Amateur Gourmet’s bread is a sham and I can prove it.

The Amateur Gourmet painted a rosy picture for you yesterday. He described his bread as his “greatest culinary achievement,” “staggering” and “gorgeous.” He even cried on camera during a pathetic and lousy piece of filmmaking. But there’s a giant hole in his story. And I mean that literally, not figuratively:

This is the giant hole I speak of. Notice the charred, black bottom. “Gorgeous”? Notice the giant gaping wound that goes all the way in; creating a hole as unseemly as Courtney Love.

Now check this out: the Amateur Gourmet posted a thread on eGullet asking for advice regarind the giant holes in his bread. His “greatest culinary achievement”? Some achievement!

People, things are not what they seem. The Amateur Gourmet may seem like a perfectly nice, respectable citizen, pittering his way through recipes and sharing his experiences with you all. But the Amateur Gourmet is not nice. The Amateur Gourmet is not respectable. The Amateur Gourmet is KATHY LEE GIFFORD:



Richard Clark

2 thoughts on “A Message from Richard Clark”

  1. Maybe I’m insane, but the burnt/holey bottom of the sourdough really looks like a scary little face to me. Like some character from a Miyazaki film, or the face on Mars.

  2. Eve-ry-one’s-got-to-face-down-the-de-mons / Maybe today, you can put Kathie away / I wish you would step back from that bread, my friend / You could cut ties with all the lies that you’ve been livin’ in / And if you do not try to make bread again, I will slap your hand..

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