Lauren and I went to Einstein Bagels for lunch today. The next table over, a young seemingly healthy couple proceeded to do the following. They each tore at their individual bagels, spread cream cheese on the torn off piece, and proceeded to dunk the piece in a communal cup of coffee. I have never been more horrified in all my life.
Although, if they were dunking Nacho Cheese bagels in their coffee I would have shmeared my eyes out.
[HEY! HAVE YOU BEEN GROSSED OUT BY SOMETHING FOOD-RELATED LATELY? POST IT IN THE COMMENTS SECTION, AND READERS WILL DELIGHT IN YOUR HORROR!]
i recently was at an indian-style buffet and happened to notice that the woman at the next table was loudly sucking the remains of her dal from her fingers. she then proceeded to get up, move to the front of the buffet line, pick up a papadum (with said licked fingers) examine it, and put it back down. she did this three times before she found one to her liking…
omg!!! this one time this nastyass GUY i know we were at the same tabel at lunch & i got a millkshake and after I finished he wuz all I SPIT IN IT!!!!! I was SO pizzt!!!!
There Is No Such Thing As A Free Lunch
The Whole Foods on La Vista has on weekends a delightful array of free samples. One could eat lunch there for free. One has.
I was there recently doing much as “One” – grazing around the store with little in my shopping cart but both hand full of cheese samples, when I pulled up at the guacamole stand to wait my turn to resample all of the dips. The gentleman in front of me was a literal snot-nosed child. I waited patiently. His mother stood by and was surely about to usher the little master out of the way of the rest of the non-paying customers. I let him work his way through each of the salsas and on down to the prized guacamole. When he started back down the line I gave his mother a polite but firm stare (ignored) and looked back at the dippy kid. And I realized: The only bowl he wasn’t returning to was the chip one. He was in fact, using one chip. He was double-dipping. He was beyond double-dipping. He was exponential dipping. And dear mom was standing-by, proud, I’m sure, of her son’s beautiful saliva.
I looked at her again and said with my eyes, “You and your son are murderworthy for the graphic visual you’ve given to my oft-thought fear of the Whole Foods free sample dishes you see every weekend. Not only am I currenly disgusted, but I will also replay this sick little scene every time I turn the little plastic dome to reach inside for a cheap cheesy treat or a gratis hummus dollop.”
And now, unfortunately, you too have this memory.
I am horrified. Horrified. That’s just disgusting. Speaking as a person who refuses to take the top plate on a buffet (I want one untouched by human hands and unseen by human eyes) I am thoroughly disgusted.
At my favorite Indian resturan (and perhaps yours as well) I once saw a little kid take a big spoonful of those anise seed thingies by the register, put the entire spoon in his mouth, lick it dry sloppily, and then put it back. I haven’t eaten those anise seed thingies since. Ugh.
~Veronica