Tonight Lauren and I ordered a pizza. The first idea was to order from Savage Pizza but the Savages refused to deliver to Emory.
“Sorry man,” a Savage said on the phone. “We don’t go out that far.”
So we went for Johnny’s. The official name is “Johnny’s New York Pizza,” but that is perhaps a misnomer. It’s amazing how food establishments can appropriate entire cities to buttress their claim to authenticity. Or even entire continents! Doc Chey’s advertises itself as an “Asian Noodle House.” Hello, Doc Chey’s? It’s Asia calling; please stop appropriating our continent.
Here’s the Johnny’s box which arrived quite promptly:
Does the box look like a New York Pizza box? Well, for starters, there are no icicles hanging off it. And, secondly, the box looks incredibly generic. No weather-worn wear-and-tear. When I was a kid, my parents bought me some strange Hannukah gift that was a sort of Make Believe Restaurant. It came with menus to color, chef’s hats, aprons and pizza boxes that looked just like this. I think you see my point.
We opened the box and saw this:
A fruit tart?! What gives! [Just kidding. We ate this later. It was a party gift from our friends Hannah and Mike and it was way delicious.]
Here’s what we really saw:
Our toppings were pepperoni and green olives. I really like olives on pizza. Some stupid people (Lisa and Alex, for example) think olives are gross. These people are fools. Olives on pizza (or off pizza) are delicious.
Anyway, the pizza itself approximates a New York pizza I suppose. The crust is its greatest claim to fame. It has that burnt pizza oven flair, that crispy chew and tug. But the sauce and cheese and oil content scream Movie Theater pizza. Real New York pizza has a grace and harmony, a perfect balance of sauce and cheese that justifies its status. Johnny’s “New York” Pizza is no more “New York” than pastrami at the Waffle House.
The pizza served as a prelude to the final episode of Sex and The City. I know this is tangential, but what did you guys think? I was a little disappointed. I never really liked Mr. Big. I was hoping Carrie would end up single. But I’m glad Samantha didn’t die.