A Brief Account of My Celebrity

Dear Amateur Gourmet Reader,

First of all, let’s be clear. Fame hasn’t changed me. I am still the same Amateur Gourmet that you know and love, despite all the ornaments of my newfound success. Yes, maybe now a bathroom attendant pumps my soap when I wash my hands, but how else can I keep the strange man in my bathroom occupied?

Today at noon a CNN crew arrived at my door. There were four of them: a microphone guy, a camera guy, a producer guy, and a woman in a hat. They stormed the apartment and surveyed the surroundings.

“Let’s shoot in the kitchen!” the producer guy said.

The microphone guy wired me up to the microphone; the camera guy put his camera on his shoulder; the producer guy told me to look at him when I answered the questions; the woman in the hat just watched.

“Ok, so tell us,” said the producer guy, “why a Janet Jackson cupcake?”

I took a moment.

“Well,” I said, “because I thought it would be funny.”

“Mmhmm,” he replied.

An awkward pause.

“OK,” he continued. “Now show us how you make them.”

I took him through the process, trying to avoid the words “nipple,” “aureole” and “icktheologist” (because it’s hard to say).

“Very good,” he said.

A few more questions; a few more shots; and then they were off, four gift cupcakes in tow.

“Well,” I said to Lauren, “that was pretty painless.”

“Yes,” she agreed.

Lolita, the cat, meowed.

* * * *

Meanwhile, a whole new wave of celebrity has been washing over my site. Since posting my Janet Jackson cupcake piece two days ago, I have had 18,000 hits. The site has been featured in many disparate places including:

A popular directory of wonderful things.

A popular pornographic website.

The Guardian.

And, of course, A popular site for breastfeeding.

Yes, it seems my life will never be the same. One day a pathetic law student with a website and a cat, the next an internet celebrity whose fame is based on a pastry resembling a breast. Ah, the American dream.

It seems, though, I’m not a pastry-breast-making-pioneer after all. Check out this picture a fellow Georgian e-mailed me this morning:


Those gazongas would eat my cupcake for lunch.

And for all you Thursday Night Dinner song fans who are hissing and booing my failure to meet your demand, fear not: I am at work on an unprecedented masterpiece, to be posted shortly,


The Really Really Famous Amateur Gourmet

2 thoughts on “A Brief Account of My Celebrity”

  1. OK Adam. I visited your site for the first time today and I just have to say, it was probably not a good idea to mention that your site was featured on a porn site. Two hours later, I am finally back to your blog. Talk about getting side tracked. Anyway, just wanted to let you know that I am enjoying your book. As a bookstore manager, I did not have to actually buy your book-sorry, but I am visiting your site and will reccomend your book. And, for the record, I think you are cute.

    P.S. Never did find the site with you featured on it.

    Good Luck,


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