Lisa and Olives: Round Two

A Message From Lisa G:

“Adam – i find it highly offensive that at no point in your attack of the great and all-powerful lisa g did you mention that i was temporarily unable to connect to the internet and that the lack of olive-talk was explained to you in full.  Furthermore, i find your spelling of Cincinnati to be hateful and cruel.

Onto the issue at hand… I don’t hate olives for the sake of hating them or just to be “unique.” In fact, i don’t believe that i am in any way alone in my hatred.  Look up “hate olives” on Google and you will get over 40,000 responses.  There are hundreds of clubs and alliances and discussion groups denouncing the atrocity that is the olive.  Face it Adam – they are legitimately disgusting.  They are bitter and malicious and destroy every food item into which they are incorporated.  And it’s bad enough that they taste like old socks and overwhelm all of the poten! tially delicious flavors in a meal, but they aren’t even good for you.  Eat too many and you’re sure to grow yourself a spare tire. 

So I’d like to ask you, Mr. Nature Nipple Lover, what good does the olive bring to the world?  why is it that you encourage their invasion of my salads and pastas and martinis (which aren’t really that good without olives either, so you can keep them in there if you need a purpose for them)?  

In conclusion, I would also like to add that you used to share my hatred for olives, and actually trained yourself to enjoy them so you could be part of the cool (freak) crowd.  You know in your heart that they’re evil and you’ve let society convince you otherwise.  How ashamed you must be. 

I believe, unless I am mistaken, that you lose this round in a big fat way.  Olives suck.”

Survey Says: Lisa wins this round.

1 thought on “Lisa and Olives: Round Two”

  1. I too am a loyal member of the G-Family Olive Haters…however, I must take a slight detour and deviate from my dear step-daughter’s brilliant and insightful rant to point out that martinis CAN be just dandy, particularly when made with vodka, cranberry juice, Rose’s lime juice, and triple sec…with a twist – lime, of course.

    Frankly, I think that the only value of olives comes in the form of olive oil (extra-virgin, naturally) for cooking, and face soap. Oh yeah, and maybe as a nice warm cuticle soak.

    So Mr. Adam, get off Lisa’s back and go buy her some make-up cookies from Busken’s.



    PS-Don’t EVEN get me started on pimentos.

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