Behind The Scenes: A Flour-Flecked Foto Shoot

As many of you may have noticed, that flour-coated god in the upper-right hand corner of your screen is none other than yours truly, The Amateur Gourmet.

And yet, I’m sure many of you are wondering: are there any more pictures like this? Any more variations on the theme of sexy Jewstud coated in King Arthur flour? Shall we be privy to such pictures?

Alas, you shall. Welcome to a behind the scenes look at the making of The Amateur Gourmet. Please welcome our very special guest host, Tony Danza.

Hi: I’m Tony Danza. You may remember me from such popular sitcoms as “Who’s The Boss?” and “Taxi.”

The photograph you are enjoying in the upper right hand corner of your screen was constructed on the night of January 13th, 2004 by the very drunk, very assertive roommate of The Amateur Gourmet: Lauren S.

“Hair! Let me fix your hair!” she shouted, as The Amateur Gourmet ambled over.

“Is that Tony Danza?” he asked, and I nodded yes.

“Now take this bag of flour,” Lauren instructed The Amateur Gourmet, “and throw some on your face.”

The Amateur Gourmet looked back warily. I snapped a picture.

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“Do it!” Lauren yelled, throwing back a shot of Jack Daniels and cracking a whip.

He did and I took another picture:

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What followed were some of the most disturbing, emotionally scarring moments of my life. Hell, I once walked in on Mona naked during the “Angela Has An Abortion” episode of “Who’s The Boss?” and even that wasn’t half as scarring as witnessing this travesty of photographic injustice.

The Amateur Gourmet requests that you post comments addressing whether he should leave his “god-like” (in the non-Danza sense) picture in the upper right corner, or replace it with one of these sorry specimens. Either way, this is Tony Danzy saying: “Yo Angela!”

And now for the pictures:

Picture One: “Detatchable Jaw”

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Picture Two: “This Tastes Icky”

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Picture Three: “Ooops”

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Picture Four: “Lauren Shares Her Jack Daniels”

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Which is your favorite? Vote now!

6 comments

  1. Dear Amateur Gourmet:

    Your characterization of Tony Danza hurts me. It is painful, it is offensive, it reeks of a ratings grab. As The Amateur Tony Danza it is MY place to showcase cliche, non-professional Tony Danza impersonations, not yours.

    “SAMANTHA!”

    In the future I would appreciate if you stuck to food, your area of interest of which to write ignorantly about. I will write about mine.

    “MONA!”

    OK? You gets what I’m saying? I do a much more amateur impression than you could ever hope to do. Please, please leave it to the amateurs.

    “ANGELA!”

    Sincerely,

    The Amateur Tony Danza

  2. all of your pictures are so HOTT!!! your my fave online gourmet QT!!!!

    btw is that your real hair. also have you ever considdered getting contax seriously because you are so HOTT with your glases but with CONTAX YOU WOULD BE HOTtacular!!!!!

    YOUR BIGGEST FAN (w/NIPS BIGGER THAN NAOMI WATTS OR MOTHER NATURE I SWEAR),

    kelli

  3. Completely random –

    You resemble my friend Chris (the one who is nicknamed Smeagol).

    This is a good thing, as he is cute (only slightly light-brown hair-er and paler).

  4. You outclass me in that non-classy way of yours. On my ranking of celebrity faves, I put you right after Ellen DeGeneres, Kate Moss and the MicroMachines speed talker. I was reading from the most recent entries back, and now I’m reading from the oldest entries forward, and hopefully I’ll bring it all together somewhere. ^_^

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