The Amateur Gourmet

I thought of this fun idea today while I was driving.

Some dishes are very hard to make. For example: lobster souffle. That would be very hard to make. [Jeffrey Steingarten wrote about it Vogue a couple of months ago.]

In any case, here's the idea:

CHALLENGE THE AMATEUR GOURMET
If you choose to challenge the Amateur Gourmet, you will do the following:
(1) In the comments section for this thread, you will post a recipe challenge.
(2) Simply call out the recipe by saying: "I CHALLENGE YOU TO MAKE BRIOCHE!"
(3) You must have an actual recipe handy to follow-up on your challenge.

So if several people challenge me, I will choose the challenge I like best and then that challenger will provide me with the recipe.

If I succeed in preparing the item (meaning, I don't burn it, tear it, or otherwise ruin it) I can CHALLENGE YOU BACK. You will either accept this challenge or FORFEIT in which case I will be the winner. If you accept the challenge, I will provide you with a recipe and you will have to document your travails. If you succeed, you are the winner. If you fail, I am the winner.

So, in summation: Step forward all ye who would dare challenge the mighty culinary hand of the Amateur Gourmet! I laugh at your patheticness! Who among you thinks thou art better than me, chump? Bring it on!

This was a tough choice. Making sauerkraut is something I've wanted to do since reading "The Corrections." (Although, to be honest, I'm not a big sauerkraut fan). And then of course I'm a big fan of cake, but Katy's challenge involved a cake that serves 150! Beef Wellington just didn't spark my fancy and Timpano is such my favorite part of the movie "Big Night" that I didn't want to spoil it forever with my own kitchen disaster.

Which leaves Tara's challenge of "Thai chicken barley risotto." I have no idea what this entails. But I like risotto. I like thai chicken. And I occassionally like barley. This could work. Ok, Tara, e-mail me the recipe and I'll get cooking! And get your kitchen ready for when I challenge you back!

Today I had planned to take Tara up on her challenge, making her elaborate Thai Chicken Barley Risotto. But, alas, it was Easter and Publix was closed.

Was this part of Tara's plan?

Amateur Gourmet investigators have attempted to reach Tara for comment, but she refuses to take our calls. A few basic facts have developed:

1. Today is Easter.
2. Publix is closed on Easter.
3. Other stores, not Publix, are still open.
4. Perhaps Tara is not at fault, and the Amateur Gourmet is just lazy.
5. Perhaps the Amateur Gourmet used the money he was going to spend on Tara's ingredients and, instead, bought the Freaks and Geeks DVD box set.

6. Perhaps, he'll take her up on her challenge tomorrow.

Dear Tara,

You challenged me to make Thai Chicken Barley Risotto. Now behold my splendor in a film I like to call:

The Amateur Gourmet Challenge / Episode One: Thai Chicken Barley Risotto.

And now that you've been conquered, do you dare reciprocate? Will you attempt to take my title? Avail yourself and prepare to meet thy doom.

Sincerely,
The Amateur "Champ" Gourmet

Ok Tara,

You've decided to step into battle with this mighty Goliath of a Gourmet. I now present you with your challenge:

Martha Stewart's Pine Cone Cake

And yet, because I have a soft side and because I got to choose from a pool of choices, I will permit you to accept--as an alternative--any of the challenges from the original pool of challenges that I chose from. Fair? I think so.

Let us know what doom you pick for yourself.

Fondly,
The Amateur Gourmet

They said it couldn't be done; that an Amateur Gourmet reader could never oust the man himself from his throne. That no one would have the gumption, the tenacity, the digital camera; or the chutzpah to attempt this in the process:

And yet along she came. Her name is Tara. This is her story.

Martha Stewart is a sick, sick woman...

The cake itself is quite delicious; the almond and the rum complement each other nicely and nothing is too overpowering. I may make the actual cake part again, in fact, minus all that frosting, which fights with the flavor of the cake. The decoration? Yeah, I'll skip that next time. -TARA

Note from the Amateur Gourmet: I have to say, this is thoroughly impressive. To those sports enthusiasts out there: what happens now? Should someone challenge Tara for the title? I'm open to suggestions.