Food Negation Theory

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I have a theory. If you make spaghetti cacio e peppe for dinner, inspired by “Lidia’s Italy” on PBS–a dish of what is, essentially, spaghetti, pecorino cheese and pepper–you can undo whatever nutritional damage this does to your physique and/or health by eating a tub of green beans at the same time, as illustrated by the picture above.

This theory, which I’ll call Food Negation Theory, also applies to entire meals eaten in succession. For example, if you eat a braised pork belly for dinner on Tuesday night, you can undo its effects by eating sushi for lunch the next day. The sushi effectively negates the pork: this is Food Negation Theory.

I’ve yet to expose this theory to the rigor of full scientific exploration, but I am confident that my own personal application of this theory–an application that occurs on a daily, almost hourly basis (chocolate brownie 4:00; carrot stick 4:15: BROWNIE NEGATED)–should suffice to convince you of its merits.

May Food Negation Theory serve you well.