The Amateur Gourmet

Thanks to newbie site-reader Lynn B., we have a SAVE THE CARBS button! Check it out in the upper right hand corner! And put it on your site! Woohoo!

I would like to celebrate Carb Awareness Day by making Chocolate Chip Cookies. Yet, the recipes I have are all "eh." I want a great cookie. I want it crispy on the outside and chewy on the inside. Who's going to hook me up with a recipe? Is it you? Please? Thanks!

Our Great Carb Campaign has made significant headway on some very prominent sites...

Check us out on:
- Metafilter [posted by Metafilter's illustrious founder, matthowie]
- Kottke.org [Kottke writes: "I heartily support The Carbohydrate Manifesto"]
and
- The Morning News [We're in the headlines section...]

Together we really can make a difference: tomorrow, stuff your face with Cheetos.

To prepare myself physically for tomorrow's onslaught of carbs, I ingested tonight a piece of salmon and brussel sprouts from Whole Foods:

It now occurs to me that brussel sprouts may have carbs in them, but they still seem healthy. And healthy was my goal. The Whole Foods salmon--this is their dill salmon--is very good, but shockingly expensive. This piece cost $8. I could get it in a restaurant for that much.

Regardless, my body is now good and ready to face the carbs head-to-head. In fact, I am doing the unthinkable: getting up 30 minutes earlier than I have to (and I already have to get up early) to go with Lauren to my favoritte carbohydrate dealer, Dunkin' Donuts, to kick off National Carbohydrate Awareness Day with style. Devotion to my cause is my middle name.

The day we have dreamt about is finally here.

After months...weeks...days of planning, we can finally celebrate carbohydrates the way carbohydrates deserve to be celebrated. All day today, indulge yourself in carbohydrical treats that you never thought possible. Start off the day with a waffle replete with pancake chaser; a donut mid-morning snack; then lunch at your favorite pasta bar. In the afternoon, why not tea and scones---except skip the tea, eat the scones! And dinner---so many choices---why not a rice sandwich? Or oatmeal crusted ravioli? And fill the ravioli with cereal?

Actually, this is a good time to announce...

THE AMATEUR GOURMET CARBOHYDRATE AWARENESS DAY CONTEST 2004
Here's how it works. Tonight, prepare the carbiest meal you can imagine. Go all out. Stuff that manicotti with breadcrumbs and serve on a piece of garlic toast. Let your imagination run wild! Points will be awarded for creativity and degree of carbohydrate consumption. And you must have a digital camera. Pictures are required.
Send all entries to me directly (e-mail address is on the lower half of the page) and the winner will receive a copy of Baking With Julia paid for by yours truly! Plus, I'll feature you (and other worthy entries) on the site!

Now, on to more important matters: conversion. Today it is upon you to convert one non-carb-eater into a carb-consumer by apprising them of the day's significance. Record your exploits here!

And as a worthy example, I now present an actual telephone transformation recorded by our very own Skip Snafferson of the National Carbohydrate Awareness Foundation:

Edna's Intervention.

How moving!

Ladies and gentlemen, the hour is upon us. Let the carbs begin!

Thanks to Vidiot for this rockin' Carb Aid graphic:

[via telescreen.org.]

On one of the websites where my original post was linked, some commenter wrote (and I paraphrase): "I gave up carbs and have never felt better. Carbs make you tired and sickly...now I feel great!"

I scoffed at this poster. "Tired and sickly?" What kind of carbs was she eating? Arsenic and old lace on rye?

But now that I've spent an entire day eating carbs (as you will soon see), I must say that this poster has a point. This poster knows what she's saying. This poster is my new diet guru.

But let's start at the very beginning: it's a very good place to start.

Getting up early is my least favorite thing to do. If I was told that I could sleep late every day but as a consequence my eyebrow hair would fall out I would say: "Eyebrow hair is overrated. I accept."

Instead, though, I honored the significance of today by waking at a VERY early hour--7:15 (have you ever been up this early? It's crazy! It's like the sun hasn't fully risen! And all these weird people are carrying briefcases and sipping coffee in their cars! Where are they going?!?). Lauren and I were going to Dunkin' Donuts. We got there just in time to see the special delivery for Carbohydrate Awareness Day:

The morning began with what I like to call a FEAST OF CARBS. Course one was a toasted everything bagel:

Course two was a toasted coconut donut:

After which, we skipped off to bar review class at the downtown Hyatt. Today's subject was Constitutional Law. "Is it in your constitution to eat only carbs all day?" the teacher asked. Did he really just say that? Carbs were making me delirious.

But I pressed on. After taking a practice test we hustled over to the food court for a carb rich lunch. I call this part the DISAPPOINTING CARB HEAVY LUNCH.

I went with soup in a bread bowl from Atlanta Bread Company.

Interestingly, this adorned the counter:

TODAY, it says. Do you realize how inconsiderate that is? To bake low-carb bread on Carb Awareness Day?

Anyway, here's my soup in a bread bowl:

I went with French Onion soup. It was nasty. Watery and gross. And the bread was nasty too. Who wants to eat a nasty carb on Carb Awareness Day? I surely didn't. But I paid for it. So I snacked a bit. And then we returned for the afternoon session of class.

Our teacher was a bit of a loon. He got on our nerves. Or was he not a loon, and the carbs were making us hostile?

Lauren snapped this picture, unbeknownst to me, with her cell phone:

I look very serious, but I'm really just strung out on carbs. And I'm not working: I'm drawing pictures of cows and chickens and all non-carbohydrate related things.

By the time class let out (he kept us late), we drove home in silence. I felt drained. My eyes rolled back in my head. Was it class or the carbs?

When we got home and I peaked in the fridge for a snack. Nothing doing. I laid down and watched my Freaks and Geeks DVD. That made me feel better.

When it came time for dinner, I resolved to stick to my carb-heavy game plan. Except I supplemented an all-carb option for a carb with meat option. I had a pork sandwich from Fat Matt's, not pictured. It hit the spot. My body needed meat. I also ate potato chips, but it was the meat my body was grateful for. I really felt rejuvinated. Does this mean that protein really is king?

And then there were cookies. I will post about that next. But after all this carbohydrate hullabaloo I have decided that anything in extremis is bad. All carbs, no carbs = bad bad bad. But one more day of this, and I'm going on Atkins.

Sixteen very generous people replied to my post requesting the best recipe for a chocolate chip cookie. I went with my friend Katy's suggestion because (a) it sounded good, and (b) if it came out bad I could blame her.

Her suggestion came from Marcel Desaulniers' cookie cookbook. I do not know who Marcel Desaulnier is but apparently he makes really good cookies. Katy wrote: "I am in love with both of these [recipes]." (She posted two recipes, one for bars one for cookeis). "I want to share them with the world. Your readers should try them out. So should you. After you do, would you please bring some over? Thank you."

Easy now, Katy. Let's not put the cart before the horse.

The recipe begins, as so many do, with sifting. Specifically, the sifting of flour, baking soda and salt:

I find the sifting process enjoyable. As I sift, I shift my hips and picture myself on a tropical aisle with coconuts on my breasts and flowers on my ears. And then I snap out of it and notice that I am done.

The next part requires my favorite kitchen tool: an electric freestanding mixer.

First you open some butter:

And you take a picture of it. Chop it up and put it into the bowl.

Then hold Dark Brown Sugar up for the camera:

And dump 2 cups in with the butter. This ended up using the whole box! That's because I packed the sugar. You can take this information with you, then: one box of brown sugar contains two cups, packed.
I put it in the bowl with the butter:

After whipping for a bit, I added eggs:

Clay Aiken and I both find it offensive when people use the word "retarded" gratuitously, but Lauren buys retarded eggs. She buys genetically modified or vitamin enriched eggs and I'm always like: "No! No! No! Buy natural! Buy organic!" In her defense, though, the eggs in the fridge--despite being Omega Enhanced--were from free range chickens. Aside from that, they were from Kroger.

Anyway, Katy's recipe calls for dark rum. We didn't have dark rum. But earlier in the day Katy and I had this exchange on the phone:

Katy: And don't forget the liquor, that's an important part.

Me: Oh, but I don't think I have dark rum.

Katy: That's ok. Sometimes I use a liqueur...

Me: You do?

Katy: Yes.

Me: Wow.

Katy: I know.

Me: What kind?

Katy: Well I have this really good caramel liqueur...

Me: I don't have that.

Katy: Oh.

Me: Oh, but we have White Chocoalte Godiva liqueur left over from a party.

Katy: Perfect! I bet that will be yummy!

Taking her advice, then, I went with the Godiva:

"That's LADY Godiva to you, short pants."

Sorry, Lady.

Anyway, I added 2 Tbs of that, then 1 tsp of vanilla:

Mix it all up good:

And then you add, very slowly, the sifted flour et al:

There is a lot of flour in this recipe: 4 cups. And the yield is quite great: the recipe says it makes 2 dozen cookies, but my batter made 3 dozen. Far too many cookies if you ask me! So what I'm trying to say is that if you're cooking for a small audience you might want to half everything.

Ok.

So here's the finished dough pre-chips:

It actually tasted pretty good. The liqueur gave it an interesting flavor.

Now we add the chips. Two bags of semi-sweet Giardelli:

Hoomp:

Mix it up a bit in slow spurts:

I really enjoyed this part. Turn it on, turn it off. On, off. Quick quick. On, off. Zhrrp. Zhrrp. [It's not me, it's the carbs making these sound effects...]

Anyway, ok, two rounded Tablespoons for each cookie on two cookie sheets that I prepared with (exhibit A) Silpat:

And exhibit B, Parchment Paper:

They went in a 300 degree oven for 15 minutes; I rotated the sheets; 10 minutes more. What's that haunting aroma? Why is it: the best chocolate chip cookie ever?

Lauren thought so. Look:

Those are the finished cookies.

Here's a cookie up close:

And after biting into it:

This cookie IS delicious, it's true. If you like your cookies moundy and cakey and rich and thick, this is the cookie for you.

I'm looking for an elusive cookie I had in New York once. I tried to describe it to Lauren:

"I was at Lisa's office in New York and I went down to the concourse and there was this bakery with these large dry looking cookies that I settled on because I was hungry. Well, I got it and I bit into it and it was perfect. It was flat and crispy on the outside and the inside was chewy."

"Why would you want that?" answered Lauren sardonically, devouring her cookie.

"Because I like a snap and then a soft interior."

Lauren rolled her eyes.

Ok ok, so these cookies are great. And there are so many. Look how many cookies we have:

A perfect ending to a perfect, albeit semi-delirious, Carbohydrate Awareness Day. Here's to carbs!

You're probably as sick of hearing about carbs as I am sick of eating them! But tonight I was in Publix with my digital camera and I began snapping pictures of the low-carb products that seemed to be everywhere. Cereals, drinks, breads, bagels, pills... All stacked in giant displays appealing to the low-carb sensibility. And so now I present a quick cinematic slideshow of my discoveries with the catchy and accessible title: "The Proliferation of Carbophobic Products in America's Supermarkets."

Enjoy!

Download "The Proliferation of Carbophobic Products in America's Supermarkets."

[And I promise, this is the last you'll hear about carbs for a while!]

Now Coke's going low-carb. The marketing pitch is rather stirring: "Introducing Coca-Cola C2... for people who don't compromise. It's not about what you can't have. It's about getting what you want."

I feel inspired! I want not to drink low-carb Coke!

[Thanks Benson, who forwarded this to me.]