Let’s Eat Flowers!


An e-mail arrived from Chloe, our beloved neighbor and resident gardener: “Hi Adam, Sometime this week when you step outside, please see the purple sage blossoms by your little herb garden. Pick a couple and eat them. They have a lovely flavor. Chloe.”

I have to confess: I didn’t follow these instructions because despite what you may have heard about me, I’m not a big flower eater. Then, a few days later, I ran into Chloe in the garden and she led me over to the flowering sage and encouraged me, once again, to eat a sage blossom, this time in person. How could I say “no”?

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60 Second Meals

Tonight I thought I had an original idea: a web show called “60 Second Meals” where I’d make a meal in 60 seconds. Then I thought, “I better go on YouTube and make sure such a show doesn’t already exist.” Turns out it does and I’m kind of obsessed with it. It has a David Lynch meets John Waters vibe that may or may not be intentional. I hope you get as much of a weird kick out of it as I did.

If I Eat This Scone

Why oh why did I buy this scone while sitting here at Proof Bakery in Atwater Village where the pastries are tempting and the cakes are alluring and I came for a sandwich but now I want coffee and while ordering coffee I heard my mouth say, “I’ll have a scone too” and the woman said, “It’s cherry” and I said, “Ooooh” and she said, “I’ll give you an extra big one” and I was like, in my head, “Nooo, don’t, because I’m supposed to go to the gym later!” and I know if I eat this scone I probably won’t go to the gym later which is faulty logic seeing as eating the scone should make me want to go to the gym more because there’s more to burn but, in fact, it makes me want to go to the gym less because I’ve already blown it, health-wise, so what’s the point as I stare at this scone in front of me and question whether I should eat it at all or just take it home to reward myself with later.

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Warm Me Up, Cool Me Down (Your Serving Dishes, That Is)


There’s an eye-rolling threshold for home cooks when it comes to chef tricks. At some point, a chef will tell the home cook to do something that causes them (at least internally) to roll their eyes. “You want me to peel chickpeas before making hummus? REALLY?” That sort of thing. And I have to confess, even though the large majority of chefs I met writing my cookbook advised me to warm my serving dishes before serving hot food and chilling my dishes before serving cold food (like a salad), I secretly rolled my eyes at the idea. “I’ll never really do that,” I told myself.

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Do You Feed Your Pets At The Table?


You may think you like chicken, but you should see my cat. When that roast chicken comes out of the oven, Lolita goes nuts. She starts mewling in the kitchen, where I throw her a few scraps, but then–when we’re eating at the table–she sidles up next to me and looks up at me with those adorable, sweet kitty eyes you see in the above photo. This leads to the question proposed in the title of this post: “Do you feed your pets at the table?” I have to confess: I do.

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Frozen Yogurt Toppings Are Worse For You Than Ice Cream


An observation!

The other day we were in West Hollywood, walking after eating sushi at Jinpachi. I saw a frozen yogurt place and I said, “Oooh let’s get some frozen yogurt.” That’s not something I often say; in fact, I’m much more likely to say, “Oooh let’s get some ice cream.” Only, this being West Hollywood, ice cream isn’t really an option. Frozen yogurt is where it’s at because frozen yogurt, presumably, keeps everyone trim and muscular and sexually attractive.

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Sandra Lee’s Fake Tan


This is not an April Fool’s Joke. The other day I was at my friends’ Jim and Jess’s place and Jess was like, “Oh my God, you guys have to see this.” She loaded up an episode of Sandra Lee’s new show (the one where she recreates fancy restaurant dishes at home, if you consider a $69 hot dog from Serendipity a fancy restaurant dish) and froze the screen on the shot you see above. What became immediately clear is that Sandra Lee either has the same DNA as a black-and-white cookie or the fake tan she paid for earlier that day had only been applied to the backs of her arms and hands. When she turned her arms the other way they were stark white. The lesson here is obvious: if you fake tan before you cook (and who doesn’t?) be sure they spray you on all sides.