In honor of his holiness The Chairman, ruler of Kitchen Stadium on "Iron Chef America," I present to you an original composition, words and music and screechy singing by yours truly. Allez "The Chairman Song!"
If you love this and want to embed it on your blog, go here. If you'd like to sing along with the lyrics, click ahead...
THE CHAIRMAN SONG
lyrics by T.A. Gourmet
Who rules kitchen stadium?
Has a look as fierce as radium?
Beats up kids at the arcadium
for making fun of Bobby Flaydium?
Who's got a famous uncle?
Who's got cool karate moves?
Who says "Let the battle begin?"
("Let the battle begin!")
Who's creepy and introspective?
Does back flipping for his elective?
Tastes his food like a food detective
and shakes his head at the judges invective?
Who's got a famous uncle?
Who's got cool karate moves?
Who says "let the battle begin?"
CHORUS:
Come on everybody let's sing a song a song about the Chairman;
Come on everybody let's sing along
cause this is what we sing for the Chairman,
this is what we sing for the Chairman.
Is he real or is he an actor?
Does he wear makeup from Max Factor?
Are you a supporter or are you a detractor
of the man who is our benefactor?
Give him a lobster he's gonna crack it
Give him a goat and he's gonna track it
Give him a duck and he's gonna quack it
Give him dinner and he'll attack it.
CHORUS
Repeat:
Who's got a famous uncle?
Who's got cool karate moves?
Who says let the battle begin?
Comments (16)
Adam. I almost never write this--okay, I haven't written it since 1989--but LOL.
Really. I mean it.
Posted by Anniesnyeats | July 13, 2008 11:57 PM
hahah that's fricken hilarious!
I'm going to have to pass it on to my former uni housemates! We were all obsessed with Iron Chef. Then again, they were all huge stoners so...
Posted by Caz | July 14, 2008 1:18 AM
http://thefoodmonsterblog.blogspot.com
Very creative. You are a fine pianist. I worked at Iron Chef America for 1 day as a Script Assistant's Assistant. I wish I could have met the Chairman. Bravo, on the creative lyrics, and hip jingle. I would love to see one about Mr. Brown
Posted by The Food Monster | July 14, 2008 1:51 AM
That was awesome.
...'nuff said.
Posted by Wolfidy | July 14, 2008 4:11 AM
Genius!
Posted by Fran Magbual | July 14, 2008 4:29 AM
Pretty fabulous.
It's normally a coffee cake muffin that makes my Monday mornings, but today it was you. All you.
:) Thanks for the smile.
Posted by Rochelle | July 14, 2008 8:20 AM
You're insane and wonderful.
A friend once spotted the Chairman in the audience at a Broadway show. I don't remember which.
The Chairman from the original Iron Chef played Jean Valjean in the Japanese Les Mis. You can see him at the end of the epic Les Mis concert version when 50 (okay, 17) Jean Valjeans from all across the world line up onstage to sing together.
Everyone should watch the whole weird, wonderful thing, but he's at about the 2:15 mark here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPpkTgMbhRU
Oh, how I wish I weren't at work and could watch this right now.
/dork
Posted by Jaime | July 14, 2008 12:25 PM
You tickle my heart...very funny.
Posted by Pirouette | July 14, 2008 12:26 PM
That rocks AG, you should do a rap remix version... Also, I was hoping to see you do a flip or two. :)
Posted by zeep | July 14, 2008 1:55 PM
keep your day job :)
just kidding that was fun!!
Posted by Martee | July 14, 2008 7:01 PM
Very ben folds! I love it.
Posted by mary | July 14, 2008 7:55 PM
I really enjoyed your song it was funny and pokes fun at one of the most douche baggiest gameshow hosts a network has ever manifested. As if I am to believe that this guy is carrying on some legacy of an uncle, holding battles in his personal kitchen arena solely on the quest of culinary enlightenment. In reality this guy, I would bet my balls, is some piece of LA trash who was teaching girls gymnastics.
Posted by Timothy Ross | July 15, 2008 2:22 PM
I really enjoyed your song it was funny and pokes fun at one of the most douche baggiest gameshow hosts a network has ever manifested. As if I am to believe that this guy is carrying on some legacy of an uncle, holding battles in his personal kitchen arena solely on the quest of culinary enlightenment. In reality this guy, I would bet my balls, is some piece of LA trash who was teaching girls gymnastics.
Posted by Timothy Ross | July 15, 2008 2:22 PM
The song is hilarious! I confess that Iron Chef American is one of my guilty pleasure. And, yes, the Chairman is an actor (of sorts). His name is Mark Damasco (sp??) and he's shown up in some less than stellar movies. I can't speak for his acting skills overall but if he can carry off his role in Iron Chef and not crack up, he's got some acting chops. Plus, he's always polite - on camera - to Mr. Cranky himself, "The man who ate everything," - Jeffrey Something-Or-Other.
Posted by Nancy | July 16, 2008 1:03 PM
Adamn, that was unbelievably awesome. I remember the Chairman playing a Buddhist monk in CSI. Quite interesting to see him not bite into an apple zealously in mid-episode!
Posted by Melissa L | July 16, 2008 7:40 PM
Sooo clever! You do amuse me so, Adam.
Posted by Amanda | July 24, 2008 1:57 PM