
An easy dinner, one two three
Try it out: listen to me;
Buy some pork chops, one for each
Dry them off like your kid at the beach;
Heat some oil and some butter
Season the pork chops til you hear a sputter....
Add the pork chops to the pan
and chop some cabbage while you're waiting, man:


You must be patient, don't be a clown
Flip them over when they're golden brown:

Now the other side, wait wait wait
Who's your favorite Olsen: Ashley o' Mary Kate?
Brown on that side? Now remove!
Whoah, my friend, you're in the groove...
Pour out some fat, but not too much
You'll still look sexy, just read "In Touch"
Add some seeds; caraway and mustard
You'll hear them pop! What rhymes with mustard?
Now add garlic, six smashed cloves
And toss around--what rhymes with cloves?
When they're golden it's cabbage time
Add it all, don't be a mime (huh?)
Salt and pepper 'em, reduce the heat
Cook ten minutes, it can't be beat
Now add white wine, half a cup
If your date arrives say "Yo, wassup?"

Now's the test of your mettle and zeal
Add red wine vinegar--how does it feel?
Taste the cabbage--is it salty? Is it sweet?
Add more pepper, more anything, 'til it's complete.
When it tastes mighty grand, tuck those pork chops back in
Lower the heat and cover, go read "Huck Finn"
Return in 15 minutes, or sooner if you're drifty
Take the pork's temperature: it's done at 150.
And that, my friends, is a meal that impresses
Worth more than tuxedos, corsages and dresses;
So skip your wedding, put back that cork:
this marriage is perfect--cabbage and pork.










Comments (18)
Your photos look tasty,
Your prose is sublime.
But as for your poetry,
Maybe you should keep your day job.
:-)
Posted by JB in San Diego | July 22, 2008 1:27 AM
Clever! And delicious!
Even better if it's sauerkraut. I've got my first batch fermenting as we speak.
Your method is definitely faster.
Posted by Kitt | July 22, 2008 3:09 AM
A lot of things rhyme with cloves and mustard. You, my friend, need a rhyming dictionary for next time.
http://www.rhymezone.com
Posted by Mandi | July 22, 2008 4:29 AM
Now add garlic six smashed cloves
Toss around - they'll come in droves
Posted by meginAB | July 22, 2008 7:03 AM
Now add garlic six smashed cloves
Toss around - they'll come in droves
Posted by meginAB | July 22, 2008 7:03 AM
Mustard: custard, bustard, flustered, filibustered, just heard, must gird, lustered . . .
Posted by LDS | July 22, 2008 8:55 AM
Yes! =) You are very creative. And the dish looks wonderful as well.
Posted by Laryssa | July 22, 2008 9:06 AM
Any poem that contains the word "sputter" is good by me - and the dish looks quite tasty!
Posted by zeep | July 22, 2008 10:29 AM
Before you lift your fork
to this most gorgeous meal of pork
we must amend
(as your health will depend)
on the organic use
of a pig free from abuse
(Perhaps from Neiman Ranch?
Or some other branch
of antibiotic free
productivity.)
Posted by baedeker | July 22, 2008 10:41 AM
http://thefoodmonsterblog.blogspot.com
Great start and end, the photos helped the middle. Thank you for the simple rhyming recipe, I will be trying this one.
Posted by The Food Monster | July 22, 2008 10:54 AM
Hahahahahhaah there are a lot of reasons you are awesome, and I am subbed to you. This is one of them, though I think the first time I wandered by, I saw the comic book style rendition of you having truffles at Ducasse, and it hooked me. :) I like comic books, what can I say :) and you mixed it with my more favorite thing, food :D
Posted by Yvo | July 22, 2008 11:38 AM
You always keep us all on our hungry toes! :)
Posted by Hillary | July 22, 2008 12:36 PM
I think you've outdone yourself on this one, great looking recipe, plus poetry! Bravo.
Posted by Kalyn | July 22, 2008 1:10 PM
those are such gorgeous chops--where did you get them? I made sauteed cabbage last night too! So yummy. And check out my Beat-inspired description of the dish. (www.mousebouche.blogspot.com) apparently cabbage and poetry are a natural pair.
Posted by Mouse Bouche | July 22, 2008 5:20 PM
I want to know what air-conditioned NYC apartment allows you to actually make this meal in the summer. Have you felt this humidity?!
That said, I'll be giving this recipe a spin in October...
Posted by Laura | July 24, 2008 12:13 AM
Custard?
Groves?
Posted by Steph | July 24, 2008 11:23 AM
Wonderful. The line, "What rhymes with mustard?" was classic - made me laugh out loud!
Posted by JoAnne | July 24, 2008 1:51 PM
I thought and thought about what rhymes with mustard
But I finally gave up because I got so darn flustered!
PS I will be trying this recipe this weekend - will probably add a little bit of onion...
Posted by Dave C | October 3, 2008 1:27 PM