An easy dinner, one two three
Try it out: listen to me;
Buy some pork chops, one for each
Dry them off like your kid at the beach;
Heat some oil and some butter
Season the pork chops til you hear a sputter….
Add the pork chops to the pan
and chop some cabbage while you’re waiting, man:
You must be patient, don’t be a clown
Flip them over when they’re golden brown:
Now the other side, wait wait wait
Who’s your favorite Olsen: Ashley o’ Mary Kate?
Brown on that side? Now remove!
Whoah, my friend, you’re in the groove…
Pour out some fat, but not too much
You’ll still look sexy, just read “In Touch”
Add some seeds; caraway and mustard
You’ll hear them pop! What rhymes with mustard?
Now add garlic, six smashed cloves
And toss around–what rhymes with cloves?
When they’re golden it’s cabbage time
Add it all, don’t be a mime (huh?)
Salt and pepper ’em, reduce the heat
Cook ten minutes, it can’t be beat
Now add white wine, half a cup
If your date arrives say “Yo, wassup?”
Now’s the test of your mettle and zeal
Add red wine vinegar–how does it feel?
Taste the cabbage–is it salty? Is it sweet?
Add more pepper, more anything, ’til it’s complete.
When it tastes mighty grand, tuck those pork chops back in
Lower the heat and cover, go read “Huck Finn”
Return in 15 minutes, or sooner if you’re drifty
Take the pork’s temperature: it’s done at 150.
And that, my friends, is a meal that impresses
Worth more than tuxedos, corsages and dresses;
So skip your wedding, put back that cork:
this marriage is perfect–cabbage and pork.