David Lebovitz’s Malted Milk Ice Cream: The Song
June 11, 2007 | By | COMMENTSWelcome to Music Week! Every post this week (except for the one below) will feature a song penned and performed by yours truly (and maybe a few special guests). To start out the week, I thought long and hard about what would inspire me musically. And then I remembered this:

That is the tub of David Lebovitz’s malted milk ice cream that I made two weeks ago from his book The Perfect Scoop. It vanished in two days. I caught Diana eating it for breakfast, and Craig eating it in the middle of the afternoon. I told David I wanted to write a song about it and he confessed that it’s his favorite recipe in his cookbook. I agree (and I’ve only tried three!) What follows, then, is the song that it inspired and, after the jump, the lyrics and the recipe. Enjoy!
David Lebovitz’s Malted Milk Ice Cream
music and lyrics by Adam Roberts
Don’t give me a milkshake
Don’t give me a glass of lemonade
Don’t give me a soda, no no
Soda’s only for the fat and underpaid
Don’t give me a yogurt
I’m not on a diet and I don’t need no self-esteem
All I need is a great big bowl
of David Lebovitz’s Malted Milk Ice Cream
Ice Cream
Put it in a goblet and pour a little chocolate on top
Ice Cream
and I won’t say thank you til I finish every single last drop
Don’t give me no foie gras
Don’t give me imported sturgeon caviar
Don’t give me a truffle no no
I don’t drive a Bentley with a driver and a Cuban cigar
Don’t give me a tasting menu
I’m not that hungry and that’s so much food I could scream
all I want is a great big bowl
of David Lebovitz’s malted milk ice cream
Ice Cream
Put it in a goblet and put a little cherry on top
Ice Cream
No Ben and Jerry
Could Make Me Merry
No Haagen Das
Could inspire ahs
Like A big fat wallop of David’s malted milk ice cream.
(Instrumental)
Ice Cream
Ice Cream
No 31 Flavors
Could give me vapors
No Cold Stone Creamery
could chew the scenery
Like a great big bowl of David Lebovitz’s Malted Milk Ice Cream.
* * * *
David Lebovitz’s Malted Milk Ice Cream
Recipe by David Lebovitz
Ingredients
1 cup half-and-half
3/4 cup sugar
Pinch of salt
2 cups heavy cream
1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
2/3 cup malt powder
6 large egg yolks
2 cups malted milk balls, coarsely chopped
Warm the half-and-half, sugar, and salt in a medium saucepan. In a large bowl, whisk together the heavy cream, vanilla, and malt powder and set a mesh strainer on top.
In a separate medium bowl, whisk together the egg yolks. Slowly pour the warm mixture into the egg yolks, whisking constantly, then scrape the warmed egg yolks back into the saucepan.
Stir the mixture constantly over medium heat with a heatproof spatula, scraping the bottom as you stir, until the mixture thickens and coats the spatula. Pour the custard through the strainer and whisk it into the malted milk mixture. Stir until cool over an ice bath.
Chill the mixture thoroughly in the refrigerator, then freeze it in your ice cream maker according to the manufacturer’s instructions. As you remove the ice cream from the machine, fold in the chopped malted milk balls.
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