David Lebovitz’s Malted Milk Ice Cream: The Song

Welcome to Music Week! Every post this week (except for the one below) will feature a song penned and performed by yours truly (and maybe a few special guests). To start out the week, I thought long and hard about what would inspire me musically. And then I remembered this:


That is the tub of David Lebovitz’s malted milk ice cream that I made two weeks ago from his book The Perfect Scoop. It vanished in two days. I caught Diana eating it for breakfast, and Craig eating it in the middle of the afternoon. I told David I wanted to write a song about it and he confessed that it’s his favorite recipe in his cookbook. I agree (and I’ve only tried three!) What follows, then, is the song that it inspired and, after the jump, the lyrics and the recipe. Enjoy!

David Lebovitz’s Malted Milk Ice Cream

music and lyrics by Adam Roberts

Don’t give me a milkshake

Don’t give me a glass of lemonade

Don’t give me a soda, no no

Soda’s only for the fat and underpaid

Don’t give me a yogurt

I’m not on a diet and I don’t need no self-esteem

All I need is a great big bowl

of David Lebovitz’s Malted Milk Ice Cream

Ice Cream

Put it in a goblet and pour a little chocolate on top

Ice Cream

and I won’t say thank you til I finish every single last drop

Don’t give me no foie gras

Don’t give me imported sturgeon caviar

Don’t give me a truffle no no

I don’t drive a Bentley with a driver and a Cuban cigar

Don’t give me a tasting menu

I’m not that hungry and that’s so much food I could scream

all I want is a great big bowl

of David Lebovitz’s malted milk ice cream

Ice Cream

Put it in a goblet and put a little cherry on top

Ice Cream

No Ben and Jerry

Could Make Me Merry

No Haagen Das

Could inspire ahs

Like A big fat wallop of David’s malted milk ice cream.


Ice Cream

Ice Cream

No 31 Flavors

Could give me vapors

No Cold Stone Creamery

could chew the scenery

Like a great big bowl of David Lebovitz’s Malted Milk Ice Cream.

* * * *

David Lebovitz’s Malted Milk Ice Cream

Recipe by David Lebovitz


1 cup half-and-half

3/4 cup sugar

Pinch of salt

2 cups heavy cream

1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract

2/3 cup malt powder

6 large egg yolks

2 cups malted milk balls, coarsely chopped

Warm the half-and-half, sugar, and salt in a medium saucepan. In a large bowl, whisk together the heavy cream, vanilla, and malt powder and set a mesh strainer on top.

In a separate medium bowl, whisk together the egg yolks. Slowly pour the warm mixture into the egg yolks, whisking constantly, then scrape the warmed egg yolks back into the saucepan.

Stir the mixture constantly over medium heat with a heatproof spatula, scraping the bottom as you stir, until the mixture thickens and coats the spatula. Pour the custard through the strainer and whisk it into the malted milk mixture. Stir until cool over an ice bath.

Chill the mixture thoroughly in the refrigerator, then freeze it in your ice cream maker according to the manufacturer’s instructions. As you remove the ice cream from the machine, fold in the chopped malted milk balls.

You may also like