Hire Me!

Hey, see that fan spinning over my head? You know, the one going round and round? Well it looks like something’s flying towards it, something brown and tubular and glistening and… oh no! It’s shit! And it’s hitting the fan!

Folks, my life is about to change dramatically. In two weeks, I am turning in the manuscript of my book to the publisher (September 9th, to be exact.) A few weeks later (Oct. 1st) I am moving to Brooklyn, taking over my rent, my bills, my life and everything that most people my age have been doing for several years. I am no longer a student and lo and behold, I need a job!

That’s where you come in. Hey you, yes you, do you live in New York? Do you work in a field that needs a young writer? Do you want to hire me? I’m real good, I promise. I can write essays, reviews, feature stories, you name it. I just need you to pay me. Enough to pay my rent. And sure I could look in newspapers or seek out contacts, but I thought I’d start with you, my adoring reading public. So what say you? Will you hire me? PLEASE?

Note: When my parents asked what my plan was for getting a job I said, “I’m going to do a post on my website. Thousands of jobs will pour in.”

Do you want my parents to think I’m a liar? Of course not! So PLEASE send any job offers, ideas, contacts, thoughts, or suggestions to amateurgourmet AT gmail DOT com. And if I do get a job out of this, I promise to blog about it. Thanks!

P.S. I also have a law degree. Have you been hurt in an accident? If so e-mail amateurlawyer AT gmail DOT com. Just kidding!

P.S.2. I’m also willing to do jobs that don’t involve writing but involve being creative and eating lots of food. Thank you.

You may also like