Presto, Pesto

When Liza Minnelli married David Gest-o

She said, “Dear David, I get so depressed-o

when I feel a hunger in my chest-o.”

Dear David scratched his head.

“Well I have pine nuts, walnuts, garlic too

and a yarmulke cause I’m a Jew

I’ll process them ’til they’re chopped through,”

he answered her, in bed.


“But David,” groaned Liza, her voice real nasal

“What will we do with all this basil?”

And David said, “Brad Pitt’s eyes are hazel.”

Which really made no sense.


So Liza put the basil in

and gave the thing a great big spin

with salt and pepper–see her grin?

This marriage is intense.

“Now Liza, PLEASE,” screamed David Gest-o

“We must add oil to the rest-o.”

Which he did and said, “Now we have pesto.”

The blood inside her coursed.


Yet Liza learned from her friend Netty

that pesto’s worthless without spaghetti

Which she had for herself all ready

as she said, “David: we’re divorced.”


And that’s how pesto was invented.

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