Presto, Pesto

April 21, 2006 | By | 14 Comments

When Liza Minnelli married David Gest-o

She said, “Dear David, I get so depressed-o

when I feel a hunger in my chest-o.”

Dear David scratched his head.

“Well I have pine nuts, walnuts, garlic too

and a yarmulke cause I’m a Jew

I’ll process them ’til they’re chopped through,”

he answered her, in bed.

IMG_1.JPG

“But David,” groaned Liza, her voice real nasal

“What will we do with all this basil?”

And David said, “Brad Pitt’s eyes are hazel.”

Which really made no sense.

IMG_2.JPG

So Liza put the basil in

and gave the thing a great big spin

with salt and pepper–see her grin?

This marriage is intense.

“Now Liza, PLEASE,” screamed David Gest-o

“We must add oil to the rest-o.”

Which he did and said, “Now we have pesto.”

The blood inside her coursed.

IMG_3.JPG

Yet Liza learned from her friend Netty

that pesto’s worthless without spaghetti

Which she had for herself all ready

as she said, “David: we’re divorced.”

IMG_4.JPG

And that’s how pesto was invented.

Categories: Pasta and Risotto, Recipes

14 Comments

  1. Devlyn says:
    April 21, 2006 at 1:19 pm

    Clever! I loooove fresh pesto on pretty much anything.

  2. Kim says:
    April 21, 2006 at 1:39 pm

    You never cease to amaze.

  3. Grant says:
    April 21, 2006 at 1:55 pm

    I love making pesto. You can do so many fantastic variations. That last picture is beautiful. It looks great.

  4. Nina says:
    April 21, 2006 at 2:18 pm

    Amusing.

  5. CM says:
    April 21, 2006 at 3:47 pm

    I notice this is the same structure you used for your last poem… I remember thinking it was hilarious, but I can’t quite remember what it was about. For some reason, I’m thinking… butts? Anyway, interesting rhyme structure. And good poem.

  6. Patti says:
    April 21, 2006 at 5:54 pm

    Oops. You forgot the hairpulling.

  7. Kelly says:
    April 21, 2006 at 6:40 pm

    Hey CM,

    He said the other rhyme about making peanut brittle soup.

    Well, I’m glad Liza and David got married for something! ;-)

    Hooray for Pesto!

  8. C'tina says:
    April 21, 2006 at 7:16 pm

    I dig your blog…I’m trying to think of a rhyme for ‘parmesan’…

  9. The Blissful Glutton says:
    April 21, 2006 at 10:35 pm

    That looks yummilicious! I think the food processor makes a world of difference when making pesto. I made an arugula and basil one with toasted pine nuts a while ago…really yummy: http://blissfulgluttonmessageboard.blogspot.com/2006/04/tonights-dinner-linguine-with-basil.html#links

  10. foodcrazee says:
    April 21, 2006 at 11:57 pm

    hahahhahaha! u made my day Adam

  11. Julia says:
    April 22, 2006 at 9:33 am

    Your rhyme scheme was perfect! Suspensful and humourous…

    I’d like to hear a poem about Mario Battali!

  12. Vincent says:
    April 22, 2006 at 4:13 pm

    hey Adam,

    Try adding parmesan in your pesto, add grated parmesan in the end and mix it to the pesto by hand.

    Also, if you dry toast your pine nuts slightly in a hot pan, they will give a lot more flavour!

    I remember when i made fresh pesto for the first time, there was no way i was ever going to buy shop bought pesto EVER AGAIN!!!

    And god knows I used to love it and buy tons of it! But once you tried the fresh one, there is no going back!!!

  13. Matt says:
    April 23, 2006 at 9:36 pm

    I agree with Vincent that you should add parmesan. It’s practically a necessity. Also, instead of using both pine nuts and walnuts, I’d suggest using one or the other, depending on how you’re feeling. Walnuts can add a slightly bitter flavor, while pine nuts offer a rich flavor.

  14. dll says:
    March 30, 2009 at 9:17 am

    I notice this is the same structure you used for your last poem… I remember thinking it was hilarious, but I can’t quite remember what it was about. For some reason, I’m thinking.