If Food = Love, This Cake = Hot Sex (Flourless Chocolate Cake for Valentine’s Day)

I’ve been reading a book on food and sex in anticipation of an interview I get to do with the author next week for another website [more on that soon!] and thusly food and sex have been on my mind. Specifically, how the pleasures we enjoy in the bedroom are not so different from the pleasures we enjoy in the kitchen or the dining room. (Fork condoms anyone?) Though many people don’t like to admit it, food is love. It’s the first connection with have with another human being (mother’s breast) and our need for that connection lasts our entire life. Which is why God invented chocolate.


This is the cake I brought to school today as the adult equivalent of the glittery homemade cards we used to put in each other’s 4th grade mailboxes. Of course, there was never any card in MY 4th grade mailbox which is why I turned to cooking. If no one loves me enough to give me a card and food equals love then I’ll cook for myself! [Paging Dr. Freud.)

I’m not really that angry and bitter. I’ve experienced love in all of its forms (except tantric; sorry, Sting.) I’ve had my heart broken, I’ve broken other hearts, I’ve been around the proverbial block and stepped in several pieces of gum and dog poo. Hey, love’s tough. Love hurts. All you need is love.

Valentine’s Day makes us think about love and for that many people get angry. I don’t. I like love and if I’m not dating anyone I can experience love in different ways. Like I can cook for people I go to school with. That’s love, isn’t it?

Thus, last night, even though I was exhausted (long day at school) I set upon my making a flourless chocolate cake for my playwriting class taught by a famous and gluten-allergic teacher. This sounds like it would be a daunting thing to do late at night but I have a secret. Are you ready? Come closer. I won’t lick your ear. [I lick your ear.] Sorry! Anyway, here’s the secret: this is the easiest cake I’ve ever made.

It comes from the Gourmet Cookbook. It’s SO easy in fact that I don’t even need to go look up the recipe to share it with you. It’s all in my head because it’s all so simple. [And if you don’t trust me, I bet it’s on Epicurious.)

Preheat the oven to 350. Get your springform pan (10″, but mine’s 9″ and it was fine). Spray it with butter spray or coat it in real butter. Cut out wax paper and line the bottom. Spray that with butter spray.

Take 2 bars (8 oz) of Ghiardelli bittersweet chocolate (or better chocolate if you have it) and chop them up. Put them in a bowl with 2 sticks of unsalted butter chopped up and put over a double boiler.


Stir until it’s all melted and take off the heat. Add 1 1/2 cups of sugar and whisk that in:


Here come the eggs. Six eggs. Crack them one at a time, add them and whisk them in–one at a time–until each one is incorporated.


[I use that small white bowl to crack them into to make sure there isn’t any shell.]

Now the final step. Sift in 1 cup of unsweetened cocoa powder:


Whisk until just combined and you’re done.


Was that so hard? Of course it wasn’t. Now pour into the prepared pan and place in the oven for 35 to 40 minutes OR until a tester comes out with some wet crumbs on it.

I kept taking it out and putting it back in after 35 minutes because the tester was so wet. So I’d say it cooked for about 50 minutes, but you should cook to your liking. Here’s what it looked like when it came out:


Cool in the pan on the rack for 10 minutes then remove the sides, flip on to a plate, remove the bottom, remove the wax paper, and flip back on to the cooling rack to cool completely.

And that’s it!

Seriously, it’s easier than making a pre-made brownie mix and a zillion times better. And as far as gratification goes, this one guarantees an orgasm. Just look at my class:


Do you see the ecstasy on their faces? We needed to mop up afterwards. And that’s how Valentine’s Day should be: messy, sloppy, sweet and filled with chocolate. Hope yours was wonderful too.

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