After much fanfare, today I finally went to the doctor to have my cholesterol checked. An inept nurse weighed me first and told me I weighed 140 lbs which was shocking because I don't weigh 140 lbs. Then I realized she had the marker in between 100 and 150 and the small marker on really high. I fixed it and revealed my true weight: 450 lbs. I prayed this woman wouldn't administer the needle.
She didn't. A nice much more competent nurse drew blood and caused me little to no pain. The results will be in on Wednesday. Stay tuned for that!
The hardest part of the ordeal came the night before (last night, to be precise). I was told not to eat after 10 pm in anticipation of the cholesterol test. That would be 12 hours of not eating. How might I endure this hardship?
I decided to race the clock and throw together a pound cake at 7 pm. If I could have the cake out of the oven by 9, I would have one hour to consume as much of it as I wanted. Plus, I had a nifty new tube pan that I bought at the Broadway Panhandlers near Union Square. I used a recipe from "The Gift of Southern Cooking" but you can use any old recipe. As Giada de Laurentis on TV taught me: the term pound cake comes from the old formula for it--a pound of butter, a pound of flour and a pound of sugar. Perfect right before a cholesterol test!
So there's the batter in the tube pan. It goes into a cold oven (this is Scott Peacock's method) and the temperature is first raised to 225 then, after 20 minutes, up to 300 and finally, after another 20 minutes, up to 325. This lets the inside cook before the outside. Here it is out of the oven:
I then prepared Scott's lemon butter glaze which I spooned on to the warm cake after flipping it over.
As you can see, I'd alreay cut myself a slice since--by the time everything was done--it was 9:40. I had 20 minutes to eat it.
The reason I made pound cake, really, is because it's a great vehicle for various toppings. I saw Giada toast pound cake and then spread with marscapone, apricot preserves and amaretto. I decided to top mine with fresh raspberries:
A delicious treat, just in the nick of time. And then 12 hours of pure deprivation: I barely made it through the night. But made it I did and the results will be in soon. Who's betting it'll be too high? Or who thinks I'm just fine? Wagers are encouraged.
Comments (12)
I once had dinner plans the night before bloodwork - plans that I couldn't change - with nothing to eat or drink after 8 PM. I told the waiter when I ordered that I had to have everything finished by eight or I couldn't eat it. He thought I was nuts, but we made it under the wire.
What's your family's cholesterol history? Your count will depend more on that than on what you eat. My family always has low cholesterol, with the good kind being much higher than the bad kind. And we consume saturated fats like there's no tomorrow. Lucky? Yes, but mother nature has a way of getting back at us in other ways. Bwahahaha.
Posted by bj | August 30, 2005 2:45 AM
rapidly scrolled down the page for your past meals, burger, beets, cheese and recurrent dessert symptome -tssk tssk - I would say it's not morgan spurlock high, but I bet it's still high. Now here I have a century old butter croissant recipe that's kept in a locker that's hidden in a bunker, I might consider sharing it with you if I'm wrong. I'm no doctor, so I couldn't tell you number but anyway, it won't be negligible, your cholesterol rate, that's the price to pay, amateur gourmet.
Posted by LeeLoreya | August 30, 2005 7:17 AM
Whether it's high or whether it's low, you will at least KNOW what it is. It is very important as you get older, to stay on top of such things. If high, it is easily treatable - same with blood pressure. Eat well, but keep looking over your shoulder!
Posted by John in Austin | August 30, 2005 9:24 AM
As you appear to be under 30, but eat a lot of high fat food, I say it will be close to the line, but on the acceptable side. If you're still eating the same way in ten years, they'll be prescribing lipitor.
Posted by teddy | August 30, 2005 9:29 AM
Might as well just ask the physician for the prescription of Lipitor now. I don't see the Amateur Gourmet's diet changing in years to come.
I think AG is going to come out smelling like a rose in the normal range.
Posted by Tracy | August 30, 2005 10:41 AM
Someone beat me to the Morgan Spurlock comment... well done! But seriously, I bet it will be high normal. The doctor will then ask what your diet is like, and you'll have to 'fess up to the pound cake. If he's my kind of doctor, he'll ask for the recipe!
Posted by Chef Aimee | August 30, 2005 11:06 AM
I can never take my doctor seriously when he's giving me advice. I see him in the pub downing real ale and smoking a pipe most weekends...
Posted by Monkey Gland | August 30, 2005 3:34 PM
210
Posted by inkadinkadoo | August 30, 2005 8:17 PM
I bet you'll be fine. Garlic lowers cholesterol, and you probably eat a lot of it...
Posted by delilah | August 31, 2005 1:56 AM
I'm actually curious to hear the results- is that weird? Maybe I'm hoping for some justice here because frankly, m'dear, I don't get how a drama student can live in the city and eat like you do on a graduate stipend. Or are you working as a lawyer now? (Can you tell my blood sugar is low right now? Shall I give you more hints?) I bet it went fine. By the way, if you're done with your sugardaddy, send him my way, please???
Posted by Liz | August 31, 2005 9:09 AM
I think you'll be fine. We're about the same age with about the same diet (late night sweets and such)and mine was perfectly normal. I have to admit that I was a little shocked.
Posted by Cate | August 31, 2005 9:03 PM
Oh, Adam, you are absolutely forcing me to buy The Gift of Southern Cooking, aren't you. What a tease. First I don't know how much rice to put in Grammaw Peacock's recipe, and now you say "any old poundcake recipe". Uh huh. Maybe we need another cookbook exchange to assuage the purchasing guilt...
Posted by Julie | September 1, 2005 10:32 PM