Food Network Maraton: 12-12:30, Good Food Fast with Family Circle



What IS this show!?

There’s this woman in a kitchen and a little doggie is scratching on the door. “You wanna come in?” asks the lady. The dog scratches. The woman giggles. She lets the dog in and turns to the camera. “I just got back from shopping at one of those bulk stores and you KNOW my car is LOADED with pork chops!”

She says things like: “BEAUTIFUL EASY QUICK: my favorite words when it applies to cooking!”

“Let’s throw that in the pan, get that going… sizzle sizzle sizzle!”

“Make a shnitzel sandwich, why the heck not?”

I am getting the impression that this is a family values show geared towards family values people (I think the giveaway is the “Family Circle” in the title). I think this woman was forged in a lab with the genetic material of Jerry Falwell and Julia Child. Actually, that’s way too kind. Not Julia Child… RACHEL RAY (thundeclap).

Her food looks so nasty. She just cooked pork chops in a pan and they looked gross and then she cooked a red onion with wine and dumped it on top. Yuck. Now she’s using canned corn and canned beans and bottled BBQ sauce to make some sort of sauce. This woman will be my private chef in Hell.

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