I have a sneaky suspicion that my life is a TV show, a la "The Truman Show," except instead of Ed Harris as Kristoph lovingly overseeing my every move, there is Bob Saget--a la "America's Funniest Home Videos"--overdubbing my actions with obnoxious voices and irritating sound effects. Anyway, that's how I felt tonight trying to get a sheet of saran wrap off this tube:

I had a little piece going but it kept going round and round and so I couldn't catch up the other half. Then I took a knife and attempted to get the other half going and cut too deeply, tearing off all the remaining wrapping plastic. Fed up, I threw it all in the trash and slid my cobbler into a large piece of Tupperware.

"You're the red white and blue / the funny things you do / America, America, this is you."

Now I can't get that song out of my head.