My favorite weekly columnist, hands down, is The Village Voice's Michael Musto who, I sincerely believe, is deserving of a Pulitzer Prize for what he does with words. Just because he's a gossip columnist doesn't mean he's not a genius! It brings to mind John Updike's quote on Nabokov: "He writes prose the only way it should be written; that is, ecstatically."

Take, for example, this skewering of the new Broadway show "Bombay Dreams." (And yes, this IS food related, people...)

"It's not hunky tandoori. It's utter naan-sense. It's dal as dishwater. It curries no favor. It's a potato ganesh with mustard. It's untouchable and unwatchable. But on opening night, I did enjoy the audience member bopping enthusiastically to the music—the show's producer ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER! He's a complete vindaloo-nie!"

See? He's a genius. Case closed.