The Kill Bill Pizza Massacre

It started sweetly enough.

Trinh, Andrew and I were going to meet our friend Seth to see “Kill Bill: Vol. 2.”


First, though, we decided to grab pizza at Fellini’s.


Here’s Andrew and Trinh ordering:


And Andrew and Trinh with salads:


Again, everything was sweet and peaceful. Then the pizza came:


Trinh ate hers with a fork and knife:


Andrew ate his with his hands:


That’s when things turned ugly.

Trinh leaned towards Andrew and began speaking in a growl: “The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. USE A FORK!”


Andrew took another bite and Trinh went medieval on his ass.


“Whoah Trinh,” I said. “Damn. That’s some serious shit going down.”

“You gonna use your fork now palooka?” Trinh threatened.


“If you put that fork down I will,” I replied.

“I don’t wanna hear about no motherfuckin’ ifs. All I wanna hear from yo’ ass is, ‘You ain’t got no problem, Trinh. I’m on the motherfucker.'”

“You ain’t got no–”


[Trinh kills The Amateur Gourmet.]


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