To Your Vast Amusement

March 29, 2004 | By Adam Roberts | 4 Comments

I have restrained myself thus far from revealing a family secret. But now the time has come, and here it is: my parents are celebrity hounds. Their affinity for a restaurant is based on the likelihood that they will see a celebrity there. Nevermind good food, give them:

Sarah Jessica Parker

Or, Billy Joel (with my brother)

Or, J. Lo and Puff Daddy

and they’ll be satisfied.

How do they do this? Well, it’s a combination of (1) good celebrity restaurant-charting; (2) fearlessness; and (3) opportunity. Thus if you can corner Billy Joel by the bathroom, as my mom did with my brother, that’s a good opportunity. Approaching former James Bond Timothy Dalton at his table is not. He will say: “Madam, that’s incredibly rude.”

Now lest I suggest that I’m not part of this whole family obsession, let me present my most prized possession: a picture with Woody Allen taken after my friend Dana and I were informed by his doorman that Woody returns Monday nights at 10 pm if we’d like a picture. We did just that:

And, if you’re as vastly amused by this as I imagine you might be, you can peruse our family’s celebrity stalking website; though I’m not sure it can take all that traffic. Enjoy!

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